Today, I had to meet with my landlord to organise when he was coming to look at my flat and decide whether I get my deposit back. In the time it took to see him, my friend drank a bottle of vodka and vomited all over my room and knocked the window through. My landlord is coming in the morning. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while celebrating at my friend's birthday party, I fell down a flight of stairs, got into a fight with my flatmate, and ruined my friend's outfit after drinking too much. I'm expecting I'll need to find a new place to live tomorrow. FML
Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, I have been vomiting for 4 days. Tomorrow, my landlord is insisting on inspecting my flat. I now either have to clean my house whilst trying not to throw up all around it, or fail my inspection. FML
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, my friend found out his girlfriend was cheating on him. He came to talk to me, and I was happy to help him through this tough time… until he drank a bottle of whiskey by himself. He flew into a drunken rage and started punching holes in the wall and throwing furniture. Now my house is wrecked. FML
Today, I found out that one of my university flatmates arrived early for Freshers Week, and had a party which involved the place being trashed. I'm going to lose some of my deposit for damage caused before I even arrived. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML
Today, my roommate made out with this guy I kind of had a thing for. It wasn't a big deal to sober me, but drunk me wasn't having it. I drank half a bottle of vodka, punched a hole in a wall, and cried while laying on the floor. FML
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Top comments
reklamfox 0
Why are you friends with someone so horrible? Anyone who would do something so selfish and stupid is not a friend, they are just a jerk. It sucks that is happened to you, but maybe you should get different friends.
sublime93 0
I'm sorry fender, but you're 'stories' are not funny nor creative.
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Comments (65)
anonacs 0
You need to learn how to properly construct thoughts. and your deposit is safe, as long as you can fix it yourself. This isn't fml worthy, unless you're extremely lazy and don't have $20.
blalien 0
$20 to fix a broken window? Seriously?
the_stereotype 0
FML if your floor is carpet. otherwise, you can clean that up. as for your window...not sure how that could be fixed in one day. as for the window, if it's only broken on one half, put a little screen there and say the window is open
ElMundio87 0
your friend owes you the full deposit amount.
shanedawsonfan 0
Go kick ur friends asssssss I_0I_
pedegg 0
YDI for not being able to correctly spell "organize."
Vile_fml 0
I hope you're just trolling. "Organise" is correct. He's from the UK.
thesunshotme 0
... Because the world revolves around Americans.
Mauskau 36
organise looks much nicer than ORGANIZE the z makes it look crappy and how a 5 year old would spell it wait, that's why it's the american way of spelling it!!
NDiesal10 2
Organize is a more proper spelling in terms of how the word is pronounced. Unless you Brits say it like "Or-gun-ice".
JanisEvans 10
You're in fact lucky, mate. No one ever got a deposit back, but you will, because your "friend" will pay it into your account now. :)
aback 5
I've gotten my deposit back for leaving a clean apartment. It's not a myth, it's just that most people are pigs. Make your friend pay the deposit back to you if you don't get it.
blueknight1st 26
YDI for being friends with an alcoholic.
maddog_fml 0
Like #20 & #22 said. If the landlord won't pay you back, your friend has to. Or the douchebag cleans his shit and replace a new window and you will get it.
Calaura9 0
I think your friend may have a problem and be trying to tell you something. This seems like an attempted suicide. A whole bottlte alone in the middle of the afternoon? Then he kicked out a window? He wanted to jump but started throwing up instead.
mansen 15
spot shot stain remover on carpet removes anything and i do mean anything, has saved my rent deposit many a times, as for the window....can't help you there.