Today, I had to meet with my landlord to organise when he was coming to look at my flat and decide whether I get my deposit back. In the time it took to see him, my friend drank a bottle of vodka and vomited all over my room and knocked the window through. My landlord is coming in the morning. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, while celebrating at my friend's birthday party, I fell down a flight of stairs, got into a fight with my flatmate, and ruined my friend's outfit after drinking too much. I'm expecting I'll need to find a new place to live tomorrow. FML
Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, I have been vomiting for 4 days. Tomorrow, my landlord is insisting on inspecting my flat. I now either have to clean my house whilst trying not to throw up all around it, or fail my inspection. FML
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, my friend found out his girlfriend was cheating on him. He came to talk to me, and I was happy to help him through this tough time… until he drank a bottle of whiskey by himself. He flew into a drunken rage and started punching holes in the wall and throwing furniture. Now my house is wrecked. FML
Today, I found out that one of my university flatmates arrived early for Freshers Week, and had a party which involved the place being trashed. I'm going to lose some of my deposit for damage caused before I even arrived. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML
Today, my roommate made out with this guy I kind of had a thing for. It wasn't a big deal to sober me, but drunk me wasn't having it. I drank half a bottle of vodka, punched a hole in a wall, and cried while laying on the floor. FML
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Top comments
reklamfox 0
Why are you friends with someone so horrible? Anyone who would do something so selfish and stupid is not a friend, they are just a jerk. It sucks that is happened to you, but maybe you should get different friends.
sublime93 0
I'm sorry fender, but you're 'stories' are not funny nor creative.
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Comments (65)
shopping456xoxo 0
Tell the landlord to come another time. Say a unexpected family emergency has come up and you'll show it to him another time.
oogyboogy 6
hi I'm oogyboogy the professional in fml translating. most, not all, fml's are exaggerated and i am here to bring out the true fml in them. Today, I had to meet with my landlord to organise when he was coming to look at my flat and decide whether I get my deposit back. In the time it took to see him, my friend drank a bottle of vodka and vomited all over my room. My landlord is coming in two days. FML
blink831forever 13
Damn that sucks! Hopefully you can clean up the mess on the floor. As for the window take KarasuFyre 's advice on how to fix it.
tblack147 0
Ydi for spelling organize wrong
fule123 0
That's the way of spelling it if you dont live in America, I could say you spelt it wrong, but I'm not that stupid. Or pedantic. "It's your fault your friend trashed your room because you can't spell like an American" is not the best thing to imply.
thesunshotme 0
Some friend you have there :(
mo_the_owl 0
Why do we ALWAYS have to have these arguments over American v/s British spellings? ridiculous. read a book.
melange_fml 0
What a jerk friend. YDI for letting him do that.
tblack147 0
No sense of humor much Also saying read a book to answer this problem is not one of the greatest arguments ive heard you do realize(woa spelt it with a z not a s) that British writers are only a small fraction of the total amount out there and the chances of me coming across a book with such a writer are small. On that note I am very aware of the British writing style and do understanding that you (assuming you write that way) write words more how hey sound for example realize sounds like it has a s in it but being American we do like what we did to a logical system like the metric system we trash it and do something completely insensible. So please do not think that every American is just some brutish farmer because we have some intelligence here and please do not think I mock British people because my ancestry goes back to the u.k. primarily Britain and that would be essentially mocking myself
happyvalleygirl 0
I knew someone who did this, except he fell through a glass door from a balcony with no railing. It was hilarious until the guy whose apartment it was kicked a hole in the wall because he was so pissed.
fmlyoumeanie 0
YDI for spelling "organize" wrong. I'm 12 and just started 7th grade...and you're a dumbass.
queenblair 0
Organise is actually correct too. The OP is from the UK, where that spelling is common.
GleeIsTransient 0
fmlyoumeanie, don't call people dumbasses, especially when you don't know spellings in different countries. do you go bashing people for spelling "color" as "colour" too? And don't go bashing me, because I'm American. You need to do a little more reading to at least realize the different spellings in different places.