Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML
Today, I had a first date. We really hit it off and wound up watching movies together and talking late into the night. I ignored a developing migraine all night, then tried to leave hurriedly when it got bad. He stalled me leaving by asking what's wrong. I started vomiting. FML
Today, my blind date thought the best way to start off is to show up blind drunk. She ended up puking on the table and leaving me to pay. FML
Today, I went on a first date. He got so drunk he forgot what he ordered to eat ten minutes after ordering. He also had to text me later to ask if we kissed, because he couldn’t remember. FML
Today, I went on a date, and everything was going fine - until the ride home. On the way, I starting having progressively bad stomach pains. Once she left the car, I passed the worst gas that I had ever encountered. As I began to leave, she knocked on the window. She forgot her purse in the car. FML
Today, I went to get drinks for the first time with a guy I'd been talking to. He drank 4 drinks in the span of 30 minutes, and fell asleep at the table. I went to the bathroom before getting the check, and I came back to find he'd thrown up all over our table. Needless to say, I left without saying a word to him and deleted his number. FML
Today, the girl I’ve been trying to date not only agreed to a date, she invited me back to her place because the date went so well. We were kissing so hard, I struggled to breathe, I coughed, gagged, then vomited my seafood dinner all over her yellow sofa. It all went downhill from there. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I'd met online. Everything was going surprisingly well, until I knocked over my drink, spilling it all over my date's lap. In a panic, I blurted out, "Dude, did you piss yourself?" Needless to say, there will be no second date. FML
Today, I went on the best date of my life with someone I’ve admired for a very long time. On the car ride home, she vomited all over my lap and informed me that she’s moving across the country next week. FML
Today, I went on a blind double date. My date was drunk before I got there. He kept getting my name wrong, and ended up spilling a glass of red wine down the front of my dress. FML
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Top comments
time4coffee 3
YDI should have dumped him after the restaurant.
heyred 11
This sounds suspiciously like the 80's movie, "Blind Date."
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Comments (52)
Your_Dad 0
FML appears to be having an off-night.
felttip 0
Not so good man!
Allie26 0
at least you got a date, you shouldve enjoyed it. she's all youre ever gonna get looser!!
m57applin 0
haha YOU: Ew whats that smell? Ither person: Iunno but it wasnt me 2 hours later you: did you puke in the car? other person: …maybe
Jewelofagal 2
Note to you: Limit first dates to coffee or lunch. If it goes badly, at least you'll only have wasted under an hour instead of a whole evening.
_swimcutie_ 0
that sucks:( but just forget about it. It happens..
thedivinecomeD 0
I loved the "lying about it" part :) "no, no, that wasn't me. maybe you did it? but you probably forgot."*passes out*
daisy1vargas 0
YTDI !!! Why wouldn't u just leave the bitch at the party!? well I hope u never talk to that drunk again and next time ditch them or look around the party for someone buzzin or sober to take with u and screw.
nonameLiz 0
Well look at the brightside...he's now your homie! O.o
SeximusPrime 0
Eww, he made a shitty first impression. Don't answer his calls and don't go out with that ass again.