Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML
Today, I wanted to take my girlfriend to a nice dinner before prom. Her parents followed her in, and joined us to "keep an eye on me." They interrupted all our conversations, ate an expensive meal, then got up and walked out when the waitress brought the $95 check, leaving me to pay for it. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend of nearly 2 years out to dinner so I could propose. When the waiter brought the check, I caused a bit of a scene to get everyone's attention. When I got on my knee and proposed, she said no and asked if I could hurry up and pay, because she was embarrassed. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's parents house for dinner. This was the first time I was meeting them, so I bought a $70 bottle of red wine to try and impress them. I tried to be smooth while popping the cork. I did, but the bottle slipped and red wine poured onto their white carpet. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. As I went to shake her dad’s hand, my nervous, sweaty palm slipped right off and I ended up tapping him on the wrist. He gave me the most judgmental look while I awkwardly apologized and wiped my hand on my pants. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
Today, after finally getting a date with the girl I like, she invited her new boyfriend along as well. I ended up paying for their first date. FML
Today, I got a chance to have dinner and a movie with a girl I've liked for a while. I ran late, so in a hurry to make the movie, and trying to be smooth for her, I told the waiter I'd "take care of him" if he made it fast. He did. When he brought the check, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. FML
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Top comments
24788 7
Who put those condoms in my wallet?
imintheair 0
ydi, for not listening to your high school sex ed teacher when they told you that keeping condoms in your wallet can cause them to be exposed to higher temperatures and/or weird conditions that affect their effectiveness.
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Comments (140)
treasa 0
Yep, YDI for keeping them in your wallet. Hope you threw them away.
hahaha6 0
YDI for not at least taking them out before dinner with the parents. I mean, if you're going to offer to pay, you should at least make sure you have your money/credit/debit card first. Therefore when you check for those items you would notice if there was anything else out that you would preferred concealed...
giganoodle 0
#29, #40 < these
deaditegirl 0
YDI for keeping condoms in your wallet. Also for being dumb in general.
DankJemo 0
That's what you get, you're not supposed to have condoms in your wallet anyway, that's a sure fire way to make sure they don't work...
texxxasissouth 0
You're a dumbass for two reasons, A) You kept condoms in your wallet, and as everyone else as said, they will get holes in them, and you'll put another FML about getting a girl pregnant soon. B) Why would you bring condoms when meeting someone's parents? Have you never seen a bad romantic comedy?
Zazzle 0
Don't have fake Sex stupid
drunkenatheist 0
@18, nah dude, like others have pointed out, storing condoms in your wallet is an utterly irresponsible thing to do. Body heat and friction will make them break down over time, and using a wallet condom is a great way to get an STD/get a girl pregnant.
blueworld_fml 0
At least your prepared...
percypigs 0
cheque?