Today, I had my first ever shift at the zoo. My job is to explain the characteristics and habits of various animals to the visitors. A five-year-old outsmarted me while I was talking about lions. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML
Today, I went to the zoo to see all of my favorite animals. When I got there, I realized they must've all been on strike or something, and refused to come out of their enclosures. FML
Today, while working at the zoo, I noticed a boy throwing candy into the warthog's exhibit. The fastest way to get there was to go through the exhibit, and speak to the kid from inside. I must have said three words when a lollipop hit me in the eye. Then the warthog peed on me. FML
Today, my family, including my 2 year old niece, went to the zoo. We were at the lion exhibit. I was holding my niece so she could get a better view of the lions. As I was holding her, the lions started to roar. She got so scared that she peed. Her diaper wasn't very absorbent, but my shirt was. FML
Today, I spent my entire day building various zoos in Zoo Tycoon, and then releasing all of the animals to see them chase people. FML
Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML
Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said, "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML
Today, I took my nephew to the zoo and spent the day telling him fun animal facts. At the giraffe enclosure, I explained that giraffes can't make sounds. Right on cue, one let out the loudest snorting noise I've ever heard. My six year-old nephew looked at me and said, "Maybe Google isn't always right." FML
Today, I learned not to get a job as an elephant keeper at the zoo when the water at home is out for a week for renovations. FML
Today, I followed my GPS exactly for directions to my job interview. I ended up at a petting zoo. I was too embarrassed to admit my mistake, so I pretended to pet a goat before leaving. FML
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Top comments
Hylia_fml 6
Personally, I don't blame you. There are some really bright 5-year-olds out there. But, either way shouldn't YOU, as the zoo employ know more?
bassmaestro 10
Are you sure the kid wasn't lion?
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Comments (111)
ljcarranza 16
looks like you are not smarter than a 5th grader
AH1Zviper 15
It was a five year old. Not a fifth grader.
fuzz97 23
Your comment is rather ironic
AH1Zviper 15
How?
B4DR0M4NC333 0
Well, because you dont seem smarter then a 5th Grader.
B4DR0M4NC333 0
He* FML
gonad_gobbler 1
Don't worry about the details of the lions op, they're five years old, as long as they understand the mane ideas.
XtraEzeee 8
I know my puns are becoming unbearable, but owl make one more and then alpaca my things. Well now I forget what I was going to say, I guess I just like being irrelephant... Hawkward.
Dallasluver19 14
Haha! Since ur not smart enough at ur current job, get a new job.
pexy_fml 16
He is already at the zoo and not doing well
ApologyKick 25
No, I agree he should switch careers. In fact, i heard there was an opening for teaching 5 year olds at that new school.
EnterSandman_fml 20
Yeah, kids generally love animal facts. Adults have to use their mental capacity for things like bills, work, etc. In time you'll get more knowledgable about this job and all those facts that would otherwise be useless at a typical office job will stick.
ICastillo 25
Dude just watch some animal planet, and come back and out smart that little bastard.
MagicStallion 9
Someone's parents watch David Attenborough or John Hurt ;p
evilplatypus 39
Pft, Richard is a billion times better than his brother
MagicStallion 9
I doubt they even briefed him and just employed him because he's had experience at other places? I dunno
wlddog 14
I am no lion expert, but I am guessing there is something about child labor laws that prevent that.
GaleIsHawt 5
Damn kids! Haha just kidding. but thats funny!
I_Punch_Babies 7
OP: moving on now. and over here we have the monkey cages. (picks up some poop) And this shit is bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S!
Ambreanna 0
Bahahahahaha :D that would be really nasty tho :P