Today, I had my anus probed twice by two different doctors. I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. I'm a 22 year old guy and have to schedule a colonoscopy for next week. I guess there's a first time for everything. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at the age of 25, for the first time in my life, I was lying mostly naked in front of a man while he was inserting something in my body. Too bad that man was a doctor and that thing was a colonoscopy. FML
Today, after weeks of quarantine, I can finally go to the hospital to get my haemorrhoid surgery, which was confirmed. I have a big internal one. I didn't not consult with the same doctor as before, but he didn't even do a check up inside and told me, "You have nothing, go home." I can't shit. FML
Today, I went to the ER as I have an ulcer and I was exhibiting signs of a perforation. This is when the gorgeous doctor told me he had to stick his finger up my butt to check for rectal bleeding. FML
Today, I was informed by my proctologist that my colonoscopy has been rescheduled for my birthday. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
Today, I got a call from my doctor telling my I tested positive for an STI (first time in my fucking life). Mind you, I got the call while my dermatologist was cutting open my butt cheek to drain an abscess. I also got told on top of the new hole in my ass and the STI that I also have a yeast infection. Happy Monday. FML
Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML
Today, because of my life situation, I was told I'll have to have a colonoscopy without anesthesia. FML
Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
I see people in their 20's with hemorrhoids regularly. It isn't as uncommon as you think. When the colonoscopy gets done, make sure you bring the wine and candles. It's a very romantic occasion.
marinus_fml 20
Too bad the doctor didn't also rub the prostate. I hear it's equivalent to the females G-Spot ;)
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Comments (155)
tenchi20 1
nope buddy not the first time had to do that myself the prep work sux hard stop sitting on the toilet for so long
matt6784 0
I actually had this same issue around the same age (I'm 27 now) and it really is unpleasant. I skipped the colonoscopy though.
xxmollyxx 25
Quoting Chelsea from two and a half men... "all I get is a glass of wine and a pretty please".
Nezuri 5
that's ok. you're not alone! my bf is also 22 and had to get a colonoscopy because he had hemorrhoids. sucks to be you guys! ;P.
ckjacques53198 0
too much gay sex
LALALALagirrl 1
Haha colonoscopies suck. I've had 4; each one worse than the last. But on the bright side.. oh wait.
Mach10 0
How about this for a bright side: You haven't had a foot of large intestine removed based on the findings. The only thing worse than dying, is dying of embarrassment.
emerluvsu 6
Can someone please tell me what exactly a colonoscopy is?
xxmollyxx 25
oh google, how i love thee
Bofferding_fml 6
lol i can feel you... i am in the exact same situation as you.. -.- i thought that kind of stuff only happens to gay guys, but it doesnt.. fml too
rodriguezequal 0
I'm a 23 yr old woman and i have to have an endoscopy and a colonoscopy...stop bein a baby! lol
klong91 7
Did it feel good at least?