Today, I had my anus probed twice by two different doctors. I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. I'm a 22 year old guy and have to schedule a colonoscopy for next week. I guess there's a first time for everything. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at the age of 25, for the first time in my life, I was lying mostly naked in front of a man while he was inserting something in my body. Too bad that man was a doctor and that thing was a colonoscopy. FML
Today, after weeks of quarantine, I can finally go to the hospital to get my haemorrhoid surgery, which was confirmed. I have a big internal one. I didn't not consult with the same doctor as before, but he didn't even do a check up inside and told me, "You have nothing, go home." I can't shit. FML
Today, I went to the ER as I have an ulcer and I was exhibiting signs of a perforation. This is when the gorgeous doctor told me he had to stick his finger up my butt to check for rectal bleeding. FML
Today, I was informed by my proctologist that my colonoscopy has been rescheduled for my birthday. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
Today, I got a call from my doctor telling my I tested positive for an STI (first time in my fucking life). Mind you, I got the call while my dermatologist was cutting open my butt cheek to drain an abscess. I also got told on top of the new hole in my ass and the STI that I also have a yeast infection. Happy Monday. FML
Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML
Today, because of my life situation, I was told I'll have to have a colonoscopy without anesthesia. FML
Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
I see people in their 20's with hemorrhoids regularly. It isn't as uncommon as you think. When the colonoscopy gets done, make sure you bring the wine and candles. It's a very romantic occasion.
marinus_fml 20
Too bad the doctor didn't also rub the prostate. I hear it's equivalent to the females G-Spot ;)
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Comments (155)
Crystallion 0
So what. This just happened to my boyfriend two weeks ago. He's 18.
KKMH 3
dude I got one when i was 14 and the doctor went to far with the laser and put a hole in my intestine i spent the whole year recovering from surgery
mel1776 0
i had my first colonoscopy when i was 9. its not that bad.
vegan_muffin 5
If you can avoid surgery, do it. I had that surgery and it was the worst thing I ever went through. Best advice: DRINK SO MUCH WATER!
aerogxt 7
I feel you, literally. Same thing happened with me. Look at it this way, it could be worse. You could be like my gay friend who complains JUST to get his ass probed. he loves it.
JPEG7 12
i dont see why you are complaining so much. i've had two colonoscopy's and im not even 19 yet...
tarmslol 1
I'm a 16 year old male and I've had three colonoscopies and have been diagnosed with lymphoid hyperplasia and have had two polyps stop whining
LALALALagirrl 1
Haha beat you! 16, with 4! oh wait.. not something I want to win at..
Mach10 0
Solution: grow up or man up. I'd rather a bit of discomfort than dying of colorectal cancer. it's slow, an by the end, even morphine won't stop the pain
medicranger 1
Were the doctors descent looking at least? You can get fingered by an ugly doctor or at least get fingered by a good looking one. take your pick...
redmnky21 8
hey... hey... anal is fantastic... quit complaining and admit you enjoy it too