Miscellaneous: Today, I had a dream I was on the toilet taking the longest piss...

By geez_wth - 06/05/2012 11:54 - United States - Hanford

Today, I had a dream I was on the toilet taking the longest piss known to man. Unfortunately, it was partially true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 820

You deserved it 2 939

kissandcontrol01 tells us more.

kissandcontrol01 20

Tuesday 8 May 2012 5:24

This is the OP. I actually am in my 20s and had passed out after taking a muscle relaxer. Never slept so well in the last year or so.. Until.. I woke up cold and wet ????

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Top comments

HooHooHa 6

Sunday 6 May 2012 19:37

At least you weren't taking the longest shit known to man

airforce987 20

Sunday 6 May 2012 19:29

Damn. Too bad it wasn't completely true, then you could send it in to the Guinness Book of World Records.

Comments

guskaufman62 1

Sunday 6 May 2012 20:44

Too much Viagra?

stompic 2

Sunday 6 May 2012 20:48

so... which part was true ? :D

3rdbass 9

Sunday 6 May 2012 21:05

You woke up to the biggest mess known to man.

J3NNI3LYNN 9

Sunday 19 August 2012 23:41

That might've been true if he dreamt of taking the longest shit known to man

cliffibom 15

Sunday 6 May 2012 21:08

Was it longer than Austin Powers' ?

KiddNYC1O 20

Monday 7 May 2012 0:42

Yeah, baby!

OffToTheGayBar 9

Monday 7 May 2012 2:39

Shagadellic, baby, yeah!

CanadianCutie22 16

Sunday 6 May 2012 21:26

apparently someone had to use the washroom !

MigraineurOfLife 15

Sunday 6 May 2012 21:45

Just keep swimming... Just keep swimming... Swimming... Swimming

I'madumbass 19

Thursday 6 July 2017 18:56

Are you Dori?

Aweh_Olivia 13

Sunday 6 May 2012 21:50

That's happened to me !

Pandacupcakelove 26

Sunday 6 May 2012 21:52

Happened to me once. I was five though...

Kog_Hiro 17

Sunday 6 May 2012 21:52

For some strange reason, I want in on this.

Mauskau 35

Sunday 6 May 2012 21:59

When I was 5 I had a dream I was in a land of floating toilets and I was testing the toilets. Turned out my bed was the best toilet. :(

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 242

You deserved it 37 869

Today, I was at the hairdresser's getting a trim. The lady doing my hair commented on how beautiful and luscious my hair was, which made me feel really good. I later overheard her telling her colleague that hair as nice as mine was wasted on someone with a face like mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 027

You deserved it 3 365

The Top

Today, I found out that if you see a picture in your boss's office of a extremely good looking, big breasted woman kissing him on the cheek, not to comment. Because that extremely good looking, big breasted woman, just might be his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 589

You deserved it 45 063

Today, I got incredibly horny at work. No one was in the office, so I spread out on my yoga mat and started to masturbate. All of the sudden, I heard a forklift outside. I quickly tried to hide, but I think the construction worker caught me. He’ll be working here all month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 3 055

Today, I was taking some clothes downstairs to wash, when my mum stopped me. She accused me of sleeping around and trying to hide something, since she did the washing yesterday. She made me admit in front of the whole family that I'd been "surprised" by a case of diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 111

You deserved it 3 124

Today, my boss insisted I go in front of him up the stairs. Out of respect, I insisted he go first. After a few seconds of back and forth insisting, he went. The reason he wanted me to go first was because he had to fart. I inhaled the raunchy gas for over three flights of stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 827

You deserved it 12 370

Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He's 6'2 and I'm 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 906

You deserved it 5 095

Today, I left my car window slightly open while I went shopping. When I returned, I discovered that what I assume to be a mischievous squirrel had got into my car and chewed through the wires in my dashboard, causing extensive damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 205