Today, I got paired up with a coworker for a three-month project. All he talks about is how attractive my girlfriend is and what he would do with her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML
Today, a coworker told me she may be in love with me. I admitted similar feelings and we agreed, since we're both happily married, not to spend time together anymore. Two hours later we were both promoted to run the same project, where we'll be "working hand in glove for the next couple of years." FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on at work finally asked me out to lunch. I was nervous we wouldn't have anything to talk about. He spent the entire hour talking about how amazing his new girlfriend is. FML
Today, my coworker was talking about how he's met the man of his dreams and they've been dating for 3 months. He showed me a picture of them at Niagara Falls last weekend. His new boyfriend is my husband, who was supposedly on a business trip in Boston. FML
Today, I was flirting with this guy that had been forced to be my lab partner for class. He was really funny and attractive, too. In the middle of our conversation he said "You're so cute! You remind me of my boyfriend!" FML
Today, I was paired up with my long-term crush for a project. She introduced herself to me and asked if I was new this year. We've gone to the same school since kindergarten. FML
Today, I got friendzoned by my coworker. He'll constantly remind me that he's there for me if I ever need anything or someone to talk to, he's sexy as hell, and he pulls me in for close hugs. This is gonna be a long-ass summer. Oh, did I mention it's a communal living situation in the middle of the mountains? FML
Today, the girl who tormented my life for nine years was hired at my part-time job. We're assigned to work together on a three-month-long project which will involve tons of communication. FML
Today, I asked my boss a simple question about a problem I was having with a project I am currently doing. He replied: ''You don't worry your sweet little ass about it babe". My boss is my girlfriend's father. Nice. FML
Today, I had a long talk with my now ex-boyfriend. I explained why I'm not comfortable with him bringing up his new female coworker multiple times a day, talking with her about their kinks and fetishes, or possibly being around her outside of work. We've been together for nine years. He's only known her for a week. FML
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Top comments
Lukcia 5
Complain. That's some form of harassment, you don't need to take it.
jerryj 27
Tell him what you'll do to him if he doesn't stop.
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Comments (120)
skehar 23
It could be worse. He could talk about how attractive you are and what he would do to you... 3 more months!
MissBubblesXoxo 17
Accordingly, you start telling him how you have a hobby of collecting genitals of men and how his penis might be the 150th addition to your collection and how you would proudly nail it to the wall
reaxion 25
#21, normally I wouldn't go for the whole severing genitals and nailing them to the wall (a bit too Bobbitt) but in this case, good call. If it was my girl, I would add laxatives to this idiot's coffee then meet him in the bathroom for some adventures with Mr. Gillette. The old double sided blade kind. Preferably rusty. Dipped in chili oil.
DjSashaRoyal 9
He's a disrespectful , you need to; put him in his place,or you're going to have a long 3 months
VeganVampyre 27
You need to put your punctuation in its place, or you're going to have an army of grammar Nazis after you!
SpartanMerc 18
Yea, file a complaint if he won't stop.
baba01_fml 17
Just ask him to stop. See how mean and vindictive our culture has gotten (even if we don't see it) with all the HR, report him stuff?
perdix 31
Take his best ideas and use them on your girlfriend. When you work on a team project, you can't be so stubborn to think that only you have all the good ideas.
WhiteCrimson 23
Closed hand = fist...... Arm pulled back = Usain Bolt........ Extension of arm in the direction of his face = satisfaction....... The look on his face after the impact = PRICELESS
anitriarose 5
this comment = stupid as hell
Anth6ny 9
Ask for a new partner?
dollyBaby87 9
Talk to your boss. If that don't work, well, there are always dark alleys....
shy_and_bubbly 6
Do all the stuff he mentioned and when you go to work tell him you did all that to your gf and tell him she thinks you are the ******* king :)