Today, I got married. My new husband wanted to carry me over the threshold of our apartment, but he couldn't pick me up. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML
Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML
Today, my fiancée got married. I did not. FML
Today, my new wife and I got back from our honeymoon. Her parents had dropped our wedding gifts off at our apartment, but didn't lock the door. We came home to start off our new life together to a wrecked apartment and no gifts. FML
Today, I almost got married. After the elaborate and very expensive wedding, my "husband" decided he did not want to sign the marriage license because he wasn't sure if he really wanted to settle down after all. FML
Today, I got married wearing a strapless dress. As I walked down the aisle, our wedding photographer stepped out behind me to get a shot of me approaching my husband. Instead of stepping out, though, he stepped on. Stepped on my dress. Pulling it completely down. FML
Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML
Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML
Today, at my wedding, when my husband heard, "You may now kiss the bride!" he swung me down romantically and was about to plant one on me when his arm slipped, causing me to fall on the floor hitting my head, and getting a concussion. FML
Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML
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Top comments
Isamermaid 17
Aww. Either you're fat or he's wimpy. Good one....
Teyros 24
Someone's a bi..*cough*
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Comments (140)
Xavi89 0
lol
orangesodaftw 0
Marrying for money will lead to unhappiness down the road.
akaOtter 1
yes, for the man when she takes half his stuff in the divorce.
blue_eyes4602 0
I would be so embarassed if this happened to me. sorry op
Chanayaa 0
lose some weight? or he just needs to work out some more or start.
pancakesfordinne 0
you're a bitch for complaining. and he's a bitch for not being able to pick you up. truth
kemolegend907 0
ydi for getting merried
zebraflow 0
either ur dat fat or he's weak
youngrob 0
fatty
kingedoftheworld 0
lose some weight lol. no offense, but yea, time to hit the gym. what would happen if you were to have sex with him? think bout it
penguinazul 13
What would happen? The same thing that happens when you have sex with your partner. Being fat does not make one incapable of participating in sexual intercourse.
wreckem881 0
^^ fatty in vicinity
penguinazul 13
Never denied it. However, whether I'm fat or not doesn't matter. The fact of the matter is that #59 seems to believe that fat people can't have sex. Anyone can have sex; the skinniest person in the world can do it, and apparently so can that 1000+lb man in Mexico. There is no weight limit to fornicating.
wreckem881 0
well 59 is clearly wrong and you are clearly fat. this much is now true.
itz_towelie 6
your logic cannot, and shall not be denied.
penguinazul 13
Am I supposed to be offended? ...Cause I'm not. At least I'm not like those bitches that try to pretend they're skinny when they're not. =P
akaOtter 1
well to look hard, and have bad hair.
fortunefades 3
nothing like posting how fat you are, onto fmylife.com, the day you get married