Today, I got married. My new husband wanted to carry me over the threshold of our apartment, but he couldn't pick me up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML
Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML
Today, my fiancée got married. I did not. FML
Today, my new wife and I got back from our honeymoon. Her parents had dropped our wedding gifts off at our apartment, but didn't lock the door. We came home to start off our new life together to a wrecked apartment and no gifts. FML
Today, I almost got married. After the elaborate and very expensive wedding, my "husband" decided he did not want to sign the marriage license because he wasn't sure if he really wanted to settle down after all. FML
Today, I got married wearing a strapless dress. As I walked down the aisle, our wedding photographer stepped out behind me to get a shot of me approaching my husband. Instead of stepping out, though, he stepped on. Stepped on my dress. Pulling it completely down. FML
Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML
Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML
Today, at my wedding, when my husband heard, "You may now kiss the bride!" he swung me down romantically and was about to plant one on me when his arm slipped, causing me to fall on the floor hitting my head, and getting a concussion. FML
Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML
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Top comments
Isamermaid 17
Aww. Either you're fat or he's wimpy. Good one....
Teyros 24
Someone's a bi..*cough*
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Comments (140)
madyeti 0
At least you can laugh about it. Not too big a deal.
archer79 0
who plays around on fml on their wedding night? last thing on my mind on my wedding day was my phone or computer.
stillxsearching 3
i'm sure this was actually posted long after the wedding, but FML makes you say "Today." Kind of stupid if you ask me, because a lot of FMLs don't make sense if you have to claim they happened "Today," i.e. they are obviously about something that happened overnight, or over a span of days, or it's clear the person wouldn't have actually posted immediately after it happened, etc.
Dragon10 1
Either you're fat, or he's weak no matter which haha
sexmuffin9452 0
your husband needs to work out, even if you are heavy. he can deal with it.
BabiGurl90 0
u need to b on a diet or make ur husband work out more
Ellira87 4
lol. guess im lucky that bf can pick me up. But you probably shouldn't of posted something like that if you don't like bagged out. And you just got married today great way to make your self feel better ey? You just whined that your new husband couldn't pick you up now everyone is sitting here calling you fat. Great way to spend your first day of marriage shouldn't you be having sex or something or spending quality time together?
jennnotjenny 0
Sadely i can picture this happening 2 me.
supersparta4300 0
husband gotta hit the weights, and wife the treadmill.
scarface23 0
fatty
arobin51 0
How could you guys be so means it is called an fml for a reason. **** her life for that but put yourself in her shoes.