Crystal_da_thing
Australia
Today, I got attacked by a monkey. My country isn't even supposed to have monkeys in it. FML
Crystal_da_thing tells us more.
I'm the one who wrote the fml turns out it escaped from a traveling zoo
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Top comments
patrickalamo 48
See no, hear no, speak no, monkeys. Just get attacked by one.
kittykath32 22
I hope you didn't go completely bananas.
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Comments (107)
PenguinBitch 44
"Take your stinkin' paws off me, you damned dirty ape!"
buckdharma 38
I know it wasn't Davy Jones, because he's dead. Michael Nesmith? Peter Tork? Mickey Dolenz? This was a rare occurrence, cause there too busy singing to put anybody down.
sturschaedel 27
Your country might not be supposed to have monkeys. It is however supposed to have poisonous spiders the size of dinner plates, poisonous snakes, sharks, the most poisonous jelly fish on the whole planet and I don't even know what else is out to get you on an average day. Yet you were attacked by a monkey. I think you got off easy, OP!
xleanne_aLly 23
For their spiders alone. Even if I were a billionaire. I would never ever visit Australia. Oh my word. If I even SEEN a spider, bigger than my hand. Let alone my head. I'd pass right out.
Sherry_Berry_92 6
I laughed at this coz I've just moved to north QLD, and we literally aren't aloud to go swimming in the beaches (from November till May) because of Irukandji which are tiny, almost invisible jellyfish that will put you in hospital lol
sturschaedel 27
#50 yeah, I hate spiders. If I ever want to visit "that corner of the world" I'd rather go to New Zealand. Also, quick google search told me what else you have to avoid because it's either poisonous or able and willing to eat you: stone fish, sting ray, octopi, crocodiles, ants. You could get kicked by an angry kangaruh or have your eyeballs picked at by a magpie new daddy. How did humankind even survive on that continent?
mikbrooke 25
#50 australia isnt all that bad. i mean, i've lived here since i was born and have been almost everywhere in australia, & not come across any of those things. haha.
sturschaedel 27
#74, maybe those critters prefere tourists? Or you just don't even think about it when you shake out your slippers every day, something I'd only do if I hadn't worn them in over a year.
mikbrooke 25
#75 i never thought of them preferring tourists! maybe thats why the people who live in australia arent all that bothered by living here.
maggsie 11
Australia is fantastic! today, just a few doors down from my house, a koala came to say hello :) lucky no one was in a hurry because the cheeky little guy was in the middle of the road haha
swaftmasterj627 12
You never know what could happen to you in Australia
HeWillBeLoved105 22
Do yins not have zoos?
mazbry 9
Australia definitely has monkeys
xninix_fml 36
Well obviously since they were attacked by one. Sorry op.
joana_g_06 19
Global Warming hit hard this time!
ILikeBigButts_ 12
Monkey see, monkey attack
Twisted_Angel 17
This is what happens when people just let their monkeys get on a plane and fly wherever they want. I bet he was just curious because he'd never seen an Aussie before.
xninix_fml 36
I hope you're ok op.