By bluestripedsockm - 15/05/2015 05:40 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got a text saying I was "banned" from a volunteer group by the vice chair. Why? Because him dumping me the night before and leaving me in the bar alone drunk and crying wasn't enough for him, apparently. FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 804
You deserved it 2 744

bluestripedsockm tells us more.

bluestripedsockm 14

Hello all, OP here. This took place over a year ago, but this is the first time I'm comfortable about posting it. I met this guy through work (my first serious boyfriend) and had been dating for four months when he first mentioned the group and encouraged me to volunteer. I didn’t know his position in it until a year later, when this happens. The main group is small, most of whom are on the board and are close-knit friends. After a long meeting, six of us go out for drinks together. The others had broken off into their own conversations and I asked my then-boyfriend if he wanted to meet more of my friends, he ignores me, I ask him why he’s being grumpy, he says “We’re done” and walks away. (He told me later that he felt that conversation should’ve been had at a different time and he felt I was nagging him.) The other four tell me that “he’s only angry/drunk, he didn’t mean it, give him a couple weeks to cool off,”etc. and told me to go away since I was ruining their good time. My ex leaves the second his tab is paid. A female volunteer/friend pitied me enough to drive me home, since I lived the furthest out and drove alone. The next day at work, I get a text from him saying I’m "no longer welcome" at the group. I texted the others about this and all I get is “since he requested it, I have to honor it”. I get ahold of the chairman (who knew nothing about the ban) and he told me that he’d talk to his vice chair. Nothing follows. I wanted to do something more about it, but it wasn’t worth the headache. If anything I wanted to see if there was a legitimate reason or him being a spiteful dick. I want to say that this was a one-time reaction, but that’d be a lie. It was like I was dating a stereotypical pregnant woman. Now, I’m prepping for graduation from college and am working too much for me to consider dating someone now. It wouldn’t be fair to the guy I date.

Top comments

Damn, that's really the worst type of person. But be glad he's out of you your life.

Arctilex 16

What an ass. At least you are freed from the confines of his dictatorship. Never date a co-worker in my opinion. I tried once and I regret it.

Comments

Not a good idea to date coworkers and I'm pretty sure the same goes for co-volunteers...

Unless you showed up to the bar drunk and crying after sleeping with his brother, he is a jerk.

You should "ban"his balls from reproducing another **** stain like himself.

bettyc4 26

I don't know what to say besides poor girl. I feel sorry for you. Perhaps tell the others in the group why he banned you then maybe he won't be vice chair for long.

I agree with #15. If you don't tell the others what happened, he can make up any story he wants. And if it's bad enough, it might stop you from getting a volunteer position elsewhere. If you're REALLY lucky (and you want to work there still) you might find that he doesn't have the power to Ban you. The world ban makes it sound like he really made up a bad story.

You can do better...I wouldn't say banning you was a horrible idea...now you can focus on finding someone else

pleasedie 22

What a prick. Who bans someone from volunteering for reasons like that, let alone leaving someone drunk in a bar

Never cry over mistakes, always think of it as a learning situation. My motto is "There's always someone better"

I'm guessing his next move would be to make sure all of the co-volunteers know what a "psycho" you are, so that if you come around to talk of your unjust treatment they will be on his side. I've seen similar things happen before.

Sorry OP hope things get better for you, you don't need that kind of person in your life, you deserve better.