Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the second grade. FML
Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML
Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML
Today, I learned my son has been picking on a girl he has a crush on. He apparently went too far, because she finally snapped and beat him up at recess. The teacher, who knew about this from the beginning and actively did nothing, is trying to throw me under the bus for being oblivious to my son's behavior. FML
Today, I asked for permission to marry the girl I love. Her father not only said no, he said "HELL no!" FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML
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Top comments
cyanidesandwich 21
Still a better love story than Twilight.
PaulieXP 16
Guess you need to fork over some cash for a therapist
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Comments (144)
AGB10 19
Scary shit. Correct him now to avoid him growing up to be a serial killer..
AwkGirl 9
Omg, this! Exactly what I was thinking!
DonQuixote158 6
I guess they didn't see fork to fork...
Grauncho 27
Wow. That was just terrible.
LissaMccracken 23
That doesn't even make sense. :( I'm disappointed
Weika 5
I see you're attempting humor. Please don't.
starile 20
More like they saw fork-to-eye, #14
kurodansei 16
Little boys can be so pushy, just wanna get straight to the forking, should've started with a little spooning beforehand.
Fluffasuars_Rawr 15
spooning leads to forking
iAlissa 34
And clearly forking leads to a call from the kindergarten teacher
Catkam623 27
I thought forking might lead to knifing? But I prefer the teacher
Vitualamen 11
Some kids can't handle rejection. Learning to do so is part of growing up.. Though the whole stabbing with a fork thing isn't called for..
HeartOfLead 24
Better set him straight now, if not I feel bad for his future partners.
HeartOfLead 24
You can use this in the future. Whenever he complains just tell him to stick a fork in it.
Melix 31
Tough love
Wakachulak 22
Is it just me, or are the kids really getting more evil these days?
tranced_ 45
hey! she said no! should've seen that coming...
perdix 31
Kids are forking younger and younger these days!