Kids: Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently...

By Anonymous - 10/08/2013 04:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 757

You deserved it 6 088

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Same thing different taste

By Mouhahaa - 09/05/2012 03:48 - France

Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 651

You deserved it 36 356

By ouch - 16/06/2016 10:14 - United States - Livonia

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 374

You deserved it 2 013

By fmal - 07/05/2009 03:47 - United States

Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the second grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 273

You deserved it 8 883

By ohhdear.___. - 26/03/2012 14:54 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 466

You deserved it 5 463

By Renzy - 12/12/2012 18:32

Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 395

You deserved it 7 586

By maruskasommers - 09/01/2012 09:39 - Czech Republic

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 302

You deserved it 2 706

By Jay - 04/11/2017 04:00

Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 285

You deserved it 355

Kids will be kids

By Anonymous - 26/04/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I learned my son has been picking on a girl he has a crush on. He apparently went too far, because she finally snapped and beat him up at recess. The teacher, who knew about this from the beginning and actively did nothing, is trying to throw me under the bus for being oblivious to my son's behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 494

By Anonymous - 23/02/2011 03:21 - United States

Today, I asked for permission to marry the girl I love. Her father not only said no, he said "HELL no!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 412

You deserved it 5 015

By quit fucking up my life - 23/11/2013 01:08 - United States - Kenai

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 650

You deserved it 4 912

cyanidesandwich 21

Saturday 10 August 2013 12:13

Still a better love story than Twilight.

PaulieXP 16

Saturday 10 August 2013 12:20

Guess you need to fork over some cash for a therapist

Comments

flashback_fml 14

Saturday 10 August 2013 20:15

Sounds like you're raising him right

Krystal3408 32

Saturday 10 August 2013 20:33

That's quite a son you've got there...

ViviMage 38

Saturday 10 August 2013 21:00

I'm 31 and I'm still not married! Some of us aren't ready at 31, or 4..... Your child needs to be shown that level of anger is not to be tolerated! You don't stab the teacher because she gave you homework, the gym teacher for making you do push-ups, or your mom for cleaning your room! Sooner before he is big enough to hurt some one!