Today, I gave my son a bollocking for losing a very important paper that I needed for work. I've just found it in my right pocket. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my son texted me that he couldn't find his phone, so I went to go help him look for it. FML
Today, I turned in my homework. Too bad I accidentally handed in the printed answer sheet I found online to copy from. FML
Today, I was at the gym. At the end of my workout, I realised I lost the bundle of keys I had in my pocket that contained the key to my locker with all my stuff. I panic and start looking for them. After an hour of desperate searching, I find them thrown in the bottom of the public toilet. Thanks. FML
Today, I found out that my ten-page paper, which has taken me two months to construct perfectly and is worth 30% of my grade, was on the wrong book. It’s due tomorrow. FML
Today, at work, I was looking for my lost wallet. After hours of looking I gave up and went home. The wallet then showed up in my mail box with an envelope marked "To the asshole." I opened the letter and it was filled with poop. My wallet too. FML
Today, there was a meeting at work, during which I had to give a presentation to my boss and other attendants. The first subject I had to tackle was how my 5 year-old son got to my briefcase and replaced its contents with some crayons and a fluffy teddy bear. FML
Today, my son tried extort me into turning the WiFi back on by hiding my purse. He was mad because he'd lost access for being disrespectful. FML
Today, I was helping my mom look for some money she'd misplaced. At my wit's end, I flipped through her diary, in case she'd hidden it between the pages as she has before. Didn't find the money, but I did find out she might well be cheating on my dad. FML
Today, I was running late for an important meeting and couldn't find my car keys. After searching around for way too long, I finally realised where they were - in the pocket of the pants I'd worn the day before, which were now spinning around in the now-unstoppable, two-hour washing machine cycle. FML
Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML
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Top comments
xMooMoox 0
Son you lost my paper go canoe in that lake!!! It means an argument you guys.
F14Shado 0
I think that means beating..
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Comments (68)
kims0706 10
F your life? More like f your sons life for you being so ignorant
Ajwc101 24
Not cool.
Joui_fml 11
You fail at parenting.
meso222 8
Ive been on the receiving end of this many times... Hes not a dick, he just need to look a bit better before jumping to conclusions, i bet just about everyone including me has done this before. So if hes an asshole so is everyone that posted.
_charliebrown_ 3
Why would you blame your son in the first place
doglover100 29
Why would he have it?
Treemint 2
my forehead has caved in after reading all these comments about people claiming "row" means beat.
hhgrehkjj 9
test poop
Kay_Kay27 13
Great time to teach him a great life lesson that everyone should apologise when they are wrong. Even those in power.