Today, I gave my boss a ride home from work. I had my phone on hands-free mode, so all calls would come through on speaker. I got a call from the new job I was applying at, with my boss listening to each word. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was in the elevator with my new boss. He asked things like "How are you?" "How's your day going?" and "What's for dinner?" I answered everything and tried to make small talk. I then noticed that he was wearing a bluetooth and was talking to someone else. FML
Today, I gave my new boss a ride, since his car died. I probably should have checked the music before I started the car; I'm not sure hearing "Grandpa pissed his pants again…" as the opener to a song made a good impression on him. FML
Today, I was woken up from a phone call from my boss. He asked if I had been asleep. I told him I wasn't, that I was in my car on the way to work. Then my alarm went off. FML
Today, my phone auto-connected to my car’s Bluetooth as I drove my boss to a meeting. I didn’t realize my playlist had switched to dramatic telenovela theme music at full volume. She jumped, grabbed the door handle, and asked if I was “OK, like, emotionally?” FML
Today, at work, my phone rang. My intern answered it and told me it was a coworker who'd just left. I picked up and said "What's up bitch? What are you going to complain about now?!" It was actually my boss. FML
Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML
Today, my phone rang during a meeting. I quickly silenced it, and put it in my pocket. A few minutes later, my boss’s phone rang. It was me, butt-dialing him while we were sitting in the same room. He answered and asked if I had something urgent to discuss. I did not. FML
Today, I got in a car accident on the way to work. I received an abusive phone call from my boss saying he shouldn't have to cover my lazy ass. I was driving to cover his shift because he was too drunk to show up to work. FML
Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said, "Is your dad home?" I replied, "I'll go check." I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad says, "Does that asshole not have a life?" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker. FML
Today, my boss offered to give me a ride on her way home. Two seconds before getting into the car, I had to let out a fart. I didn't think the fart would follow me in, but it did. She rolled down the windows, and we lapsed into a silent, awkward ride home. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MitchRapp 20
Maybe he will give you a raise now he knows you're looking else where.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Soooo... I guess you can kiss that reference goodbye.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (27)
scottishoatmeal 22
That must have been the most awkward car ride of your life
pedinhuh 23
I why let the conversation go into details if you could just say to the caller that you were driving and would talk with them later? Should have just cutted the conversation short and said you would call back later
lazlowrave 10
Opportunity for a raise!
javankipp 11
Sucks man but you kinda deserved it. Could have easily not answered and called another time if that was the situation.
mswim 27
Call me stupid, but I never understood why having your current boss know you're looking for another job is considered a bad thing. At the vet office I worked at the boss knew one of his employee's was job searching and he didn't really care.
psyjoniz 12
different situations and industries. in my line of work it is common for an employer to pay quite a lot of money for employees to be educated and usually receive certifications that can make available jobs that would have been previously unattainable due to lack of said certs. as a business owner, i do not want to lose that kind of investment and it is an insult to use my company funds to get hired elsewhere. this is where more granular agreements must be signed before anything. otherwise anything goes and if i neglected to get them to sign but still put them through courses and they got a better job thats my fault.
PhoenixChick 26
It kind of depends on your motivation for looking, too. If your boss thinks you are looking for an new job because you don't like working for them, think they're a jerk, or aren't getting paid enough, that could be seen as an insult to them. Kind of an "oh, we're not good enough for you?" kind of reaction.
militarybrat 21
Yeah my boss hated me. If she knew i was quitting before i put in my two weeks notice she would have fired me right on the spot.
citykid612 8
My boss would be sad because he enjoys having all of us, but knows we are moving on to bigger things.
NYGiants1925 22
Hopefully you got the job then.
yerawizardlizzy 27
You're very lucky if that's how your profession works. The vast majority don't.
moo77_fml 20
Didn't the new potential boss ask if it was a convenient time to talk??? That's the first question I'd ask ... Hope you still have a job at the place ur at now
KaywinnetLeeFrye 15
I hope you got it. Lol. Sorry op
waleedma 18
Seriously why would you pick up an unknown number when you are with your boss????????