Today, I gave my boss a report I wrote on my own time, full of suggestions on how to increase productivity and profits at our company. He said my ideas made "about as much sense as pistol-whipping a ghost" and that I was impressing no one. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss asked for recommendations on how to improve the office. I sent her an e-mail full of my ideas. Later, my boss sent me a reply, saying, "Here's what head office thinks of your ideas." It contained a list of insults upper management made about me. FML
Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML
Today, I received a company-wide email from my boss, praising a coworker's extra effort at improving our line of business. The coworker's efforts were a direct copy-and-paste of a plan I put together three months ago. No one cared when I gave the presentation. FML
Today, my boss threw out the report I wrote for the board of directors. He said that if it were legal, he'd smash me in the balls with a brick for using Comic Sans. I had to do the whole thing again in another font with my coworkers snickering at me. FML
Today, my boss asked me, "Can I give you some constructive criticism?" I said yes. He told me, "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML
Today, my boss asked me to send an email on his behalf with an important report attached. I've already received 3 responses from directors commenting on poor spelling and factual errors. I get paid 1/4 the salary of my boss and he can't even write properly. FML
Today, at work, I had to analyze timecards data and generate a report on the least billed / occupied people at work. I found myself at the bottom. I sent it to my boss too. FML
Today, I had a performance evaluation meeting with my boss. He told me I was the best in my department, and that the productivity has never been higher before I started working here. Oh, and he said that because everything is working so well, they don't need me as much, so he's cutting my hours. FML
Today, my boss made me give a presentation to several senior company officials about the serious financial losses our division has made this year. Barely an hour later, my boss had palmed all the blame off onto me and gotten me fired. FML
Today, I was scolded by my boss, all because I can finish most tasks in a quarter of the time it takes him, and he doesn't want to be shown up. FML
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Top comments
Ise_fml 6
It might just be because it was bad. Just because you made it in your own time doesn't make it better.
dudeutookhrs 24
And then he'll steal your ideas!
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Comments (47)
jdw17 13
Lol, pistol whipping a ghost.
captain_hero89 22
I'd be extremely impressed if i saw someone pistol whipping a ghost
allienc81 9
Me too lol
straymondar 10
Bruh I'm weak as **** rite now
DrChrisOfWumbo 12
He's probably going to end up using them. You did a good OP. We're all proud
dietcoke09 25
That's really great for you to do that. Seriously, put it in your resume and keep it attached to it so employers can see your initiative and willingness to help and lead others. Unfortunately some bosses are just plain out rude but I'm sure he's keeping note of it for the future. Stay out of his hair for awhile though.
grabyourhooks 12
I bet Frank that's blowing these comments up has everything business figured out, but management keeps holding him down over some BS politics. Vote Frank 2016, clearly he get us right.
Mathalamus 25
I would personally not bother with suggestions. Not my freaking job. Unless I'm a manager.
mergeterge 24
Unless they're asking for your opinion, it's best to keep your opinions to yourself (unless something is literally not working at all). I work with someone who will stay late at work to finish projects and she will do them completely wrong. She wines and complains as she has to redo them but as others have mentioned, using your own time to try to solve work problems isn't great. Leave work at work.
Dick_diamond 22
So you're THAT guy..
saffy66 34
It will be interesting to e if he later presents your ideas as his own... It happens far too often.