Today, I found out why I can't sleep at night. My wife switched my sleep aid pills with energy pills. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Today, I figured out why I have been feeling so drowsy and lethargic for the past week. My daughter had been slipping sleeping pills into my coffee as payback for taking her phone away. FML
Buzzed
Today, my wife helped herself to an energy drink at 7pm, because she "felt tired", and yelled at me when I told her not to. All night, all I heard was, "Babe, I can't sleep. I'm restless. Talk to me. Babe, you're sleeping and I feel lonely. Hey babe what are you thinking about? What's going through your head?" FML
Missed it
Today, I found the cause of last night's crippling insomnia was the sleeping pill on the kitchen floor. FML
Today, after a week of being tired and depressed, I realized my bottles for anti-depressants and muscle relaxants had gotten switched around. FML
Diuretics
Today, my water pills are almost identical to my sleeping pills, so not only did I not get any sleep, I had to get up every 15-30 minutes to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, I woke up after taking the new sleeping pills I was prescribed for my insomnia. I slept for 12 hours and had 5 missed calls from my boss. FML
Just say no
Today, I woke up to my stomach being torn up from the inside. Barely made it to the bathroom, but of course, it wasn’t the one in my room, where I could easily change my clothes after a quick shower. After running down all my new meds, I realized it had to be my new sleep aid. It was helping too. FML
Zombie
Today, I had to explain to my gaming friends that I can't be a night owl anymore because of a major health scare where I was suddenly unable to sleep at all. I now have to take sleeping pills every night and abide by a strict sleeping schedule. My friends are bummed out, and I feel bad for them. Fuck insomnia. FML
Sleep cycled out
Today, I'm doing the school run. I went to bed early and took a sleeping pill for my insomnia so I could be productive. Even if I could sleep past my partner snoring like a cave bear with sinus infection, it turns out that my sleeping pills make me hyper. The next person who says ADHD is fun is getting slapped. FML
Today, I found out that my husband thinks I'm fat when I caught him slipping diet pills into my morning smoothie. FML
Top comments
Sammansix 3
Get her back, give her lactation pills in her juice. They make her nipples produce milk.
VorpikeII 17
Jeez. Next thing you know, you'll become nocturnal, cause she added your sleep aid pills to your morning coffee. That really sucks though OP. Try finding a better hiding place?
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Comments (137)
miss_amphetamine 24
LOL this sounds like something I'd do, energy pills ftw!
briedabro 32
My goal in life is to reach her level of pettiness.