Today, I found out that when my room-mate agreed to babysit someone's two year old kid for money, what he really planned on doing was dumping it with me. The kid won't stop crying and screaming. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML
Today, I found out that while my mother-in-law claimed to be babysitting my son, she was actually dropping him off at an unlicensed “day care” in a shady part of town so she could go out. How did I find out? The house was raided by police. FML
Today, instead of going to a romantic dinner with my boyfriend like I'd planned, I ended up babysitting his queasy little sister. FML
Today, I found out my babysitter has been selling the breastmilk I produce for my baby and replacing it with formula, while still taking my money every week. FML
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
Today, I was babysitting. Being kind, I went to grab their mail, while their 4 year old ate lunch. He locked me out, wrecked the house, and let me in right when he saw their car two hours later. I didn't get paid. I paid them. FML
Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML
Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML
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Top comments
Cairo_Sanchez 8
video tape you taking care of the kid and claim the money
TalkinSmack 6
drop the kid off at the police station. ur roommate won't do that again.
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Comments (146)
hrkgurl522 6
ugh that really sucks
WCARlover 35
wow you need a new roommate!
blondie1208 17
new roommate? i think yes.
iEatGuppies 0
leave your roommate a "present" in his bed. put a tag on it saying "from: the kid"
ThaHero 0
Hm that's pretty inconsiderate of your roomate OP. Try to calm the child?
jasminea 0
mrahhhhh 21
I would say offer to take care of a dog and leave it with him one day, but people are much more likely to say "**** this" and leave the dog alone than to do the same thing with a human baby. So may I suggest putting red Kool-Aid in the shower head when your roommate takes a shower (to scare them shitless and prolong the shower), and then putting itching powder on his/her underwear for the day? Nothing more hilarious then making someone have to explain to the professor and/or boss why they keep grabbing their junk.
4ugu4 7
Take the money instead and tell ur little room-mate that she ran off without paying.
sheethapins 13
Put fliers up around town advertising free baby-sitting with your room mate's number.
mrahhhhh 21
You know that people would be incredibly suspicious of that, right?
Keyman1212 14
Dump the baby in the trash like a prom night baby! Problem solved. The parents might even give you money for saving them hundreds of thousands of dollars, and years of stress due to having a child.
Keyman1212 14
And a sarcastic SOB (;
IAmTheHeavens 0
Are you ******* retarded?
Rainbow_dumpster 28
You, sir, are a loser, #41.