Today, I found out that the money my husband said he loaned to his "mother" actually went to the purchase of new lingerie for the woman he's cheating on me with. I just got the bill from the department store. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I got to spend the entire day shopping for lingerie with the man of my dreams. He bought everything I'd ever wanted and more! Too bad it was for another woman. FML
Today, I found out my husband has racked up $3000 on our credit cards, and ruined my credit score. When confronted, all he had to say was, "Well you didn't tell me when you bought that ten-dollar t-shirt, so I guess we're even." FML
Today, my mother bitched at me for spending $200 on a new clothes I needed for my new job as a bank teller. I then received a notification on my phone that my mother's lingerie order was shipped. She spent $800 on teddies and crotchless panties. FML
Today, I found out my husband spent us into overdraft charges through compulsive online shopping. Again. FML
Today, I found out my husband has been "cheating" on me with some girl from Russia that he has to pay for regularly. This explains why he never has any money, he's actually dumb enough to be scammed. FML
Today, I found out the money my husband's been funneling from our bank account wasn't for drugs or gifts for another girl like I thought. It was for a guy he stupidly believed was a foreign diplomat, who supposedly needed to bribe officials in order to send us several million dollars. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML
Today, I confronted my boyfriend about his infidelity. I saw him at the mall with another woman at Victoria's Secret, and I took pictures from a distance. When I asked him why he did it, he told me, "If you have $20 to your name and you see a $100 bill on the ground, you're gonna pick it up, right?" FML
Today, I found out that the dude I love has been taking the money I used to support him and buying heroin with it. FML
Today, I found a pair of women's underwear in the laundry that wasn't mine. I confronted my boyfriend about it. They were his. FML
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Top comments
WoolyWhoop 7
Kick his ass.
Calaura9 0
Roses are red Violets are blue Your credit cards maxed Looks like you're screwed
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Comments (124)
caliloveex3 0
WHAT?!!!! HE BOUGHT HIS AT A DEPARTMENT STORE!?!! were they on sale at least? hahha jk ******* curb stomp the peice of shit
lil_ham1644 29
I don't understand why that's in caps. Explain?
niagara001001001 0
My dad did that, he bought a new house with my moms credit for his girlfriend and her kids...
null_fml 11
He's cheating on you with his own mother?? Yech... well, whatever floats his boat I guess.
ChelseaAnn08 0
No, he's having an affair with another woman. He told her he was lending Mom some money...but actually he was buying his lover new lingerie. But, he was a dumbass and used the credit card, so that's how she found out where that money actually went.
null_fml 11
Sorry, was just a joke.
LaLince 40
#34: joke. understand? moroness
jak2 0
im awesome
niagara001001001 0
My dad did something similar to this to my mom, he got out a loan in both of their names for a new motor in my dads truck. But it was actually rent money for his girlfriend and two small children. He also payed for them to go to Walt Disney world while I was in the hospital with pneumonia. I totally agree that your life sucks, and you should DIVORCE that guy asap!!!
Bloodknight 22
Maybe mama wanted to feel sexy, and the son was all like "It's my momma, I'll be damned if she ain't lookin' sexy" lol!
thefernuss 0
No, just no.
jillz 0
Just don't ever let him touch you again. You just got an everlasting get-out-of-sex-free card! She gets to be his 'scratching post' for when he has that itch and you finally get to sleep peacefully, unmolested.
Intoxicunt 5
Girls like sex too, ya know. At least, the ones I know do. I'd like a "free sex" card instead.
XOfiestypixie 0
*hand's intoxicunt a free sex card*
Intoxicunt 5
Is this redeemable now?
XOfiestypixie 0
Yes. =)
Intoxicunt 5
*hands back free sex card* I'm ready.
gonzolove 0
Thank you Intoxicunt, you took the words right out of my head. Girls like sex (maybe not all of 'em). I'm a girl and I quite enjoy sex. Getting off is awesome.
plexico 3
SSShhhhhhhhhhhh! You've got to keep pretending that you don't like it. Ordinary men think that they only can win if someone else loses. Ordinary guys call having sex with a girl a "conquest." They can count how many orgasms they have, but could care less about the number (or authenticity) of what their female counterparts have. So, you have to keep up the act that sex is an unpleasant chore that you render as a hard-won favor, so the ordinary men will keep wanting it. PS: I'm not ordinary.
gonzolove 0
Really? I refer to guys I have sex with as conquests. Strange... I like the P.S. you added there hahaha.
Intoxicunt 5
plexi, come marry my mom. Or me. Either way. =D That, or just train guys to be extraordinary like you.
plexico 3
Toxi, all of the above. gonzolove, I like to win in tennis, Jeopardy, Scrabble and poker, but when if comes to a game I call Count the Orgasms, I don't mind losing, or even getting crushed. Shutouts are no good. Kay, I'm going to have to be alert around you. The knobstick must survive intact and unburnt!
Intoxicunt 5
Ok, I'll invite my mom to be the newest member of "plexico, have my babies" and she can come live with us in Utah. She can't have babies, though, but I think she's done the world enough of a service with me. ;)
someguy945 0
Wait, you received a bill? So it hasn't been paid for yet? Then maybe he really did loan some money to his mother. If he had spent it on lingerie, you wouldn't have gotten a bill.
Intoxicunt 5
Still an FML. He's cheating on her, he just didn't use the money she loaned him to facilitate it. And maybe she meant more like a receipt. This one place we shop sends us stuff in the mail saying, "Your last purchase was for $___ on date _/__/__. We have these other offers you may be interested in. We appreciate your business!"
Intoxicunt 5
Maybe the lingerie place sells him drugs. So they sent that receipt just to make it look like he was buying something legal when the cops check his bank account history.
mordantennui 0
that must be some expensive lingerie!