Today, I found out that my friends were convinced that I was gay. I have known most of them for 3 plus years, they all thought my girlfriend was a special shopping partner. I found this out while announcing my engagement. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, after being out of the closet for over three years, I learned that some of my friends still don't believe me that I am really a lesbian. They still think I made the whole thing up because I can't get a man. FML
Today, I found out everybody at work thinks I'm a lesbian because they thought my boyfriend was a girl. FML
Today, I announced to my friends that I'd proposed to my girlfriend and she'd said yes. I thought they'd be happy for me, since they were the ones who introduced me to her after all. Instead, they all were flabbergasted. One told me, "You realize we set you up with that fat chick as a joke, right?" FML
Today, I found out that my crush is a lesbian. Everyone knew about it. Everyone also knew that I liked her. No one told me. FML
Today, I came out as a lesbian to my friends. They were supportive, save for my one friend, who accused me of copying her by also being a lesbian. FML
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML
Today, I found out that my current girlfriend has dated all of my friends at one time or another. FML
Today, my sister gently asked me if I was gay. Turns out I've been without a boyfriend for so long that the whole family believes I secretly have a girlfriend. FML
Today, I told my friends I had been hiding something that I wanted to come clean on. My one friend responds by saying, "FINALLY you come out of the closet. It's about time." I'm not gay. I was just going to tell them my parents were getting a divorce. FML
Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML
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Top comments
vexion 0
Fake. No one lives in North Dakota.
capthavoc123 0
I voted in your favor on this one, but then I thought about something. In the three years you knew these people, you never once told them that this girl was your girlfriend? Because that's the only way they could still think you were gay. So I guess you kind of half deserve it.
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Comments (124)
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
What is the rule on bringing out your dead? Give me that rule, at least.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
All this grab-assing, squeezing, molesting, grape-feeding, pushing down the stairs to prevent unwanted pregnancy shenanigans is making me hungry. Time to get some food...
flying_vegan 0
*Hiding in a bush, the surprisingly ground-based Flying Vegan observes Starfire's molestation. "Yeah, that's right, you keep doing what you're doing", he murmurs to himself stuffing fistfuls of tofu into his mouth, the spongy soy protein tearing on his otherwise useless canine teeth. "I could watch this all day", he thinks, flicking on his Blackberry and sending his Facebook friends PETA videos. "I could never get bored of this..." Starfire starts spanking Kay with a steak... Flying Vegan vomits, mumbles "meat is murder" (possibly "neat is nurder", his mouth is still full of tofu), and collapses... He awakes to find himself... at his own funeral...
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
It would have been more realistic if you were spanked with a ham instead. Then I would yell for the world to hear, "HAM SPANKER!!" and run away gleefully...
Starfire22 5
Haha *sweet* that made my extremley long day ;)
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
Something tells me if I say yes, I'll be breaking rule #55 - "Under no circumstances are you to join this club upon being invited. Doing so suffers the penalty of pigeon-insemination." I'm not very excited about dealing with pigeons, but w/e. How do I join?
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
your link from an earlier post produced quite a few FML-Club groups. Which one is the real one? And don't go Highlander on me and say, "There can only be ONE!"
flying_vegan 0
Are the half-breed members the ones that have to dance arousingly for us? I feel like watching a schoolgirl do the lindy hop...
redbluegreen 40
I got in pretty easily... I also made a picture for us. School girl outfits? I have the outfits, let's just hope everyone fits and can dance.
perdix 29
Congratulations on finding a chick with a dick.