Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML
Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend regularly has his ex stay over. They even share a bed. He doesn't see a problem with this. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a gun under his pillow. This was only after my friends and I surprised him with his birthday cake while he was sleeping. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
thoughtcriminal7 3
Is your boyfriend two years old? What a dumbass. Try dating someone who acts like an adult.
MrBoredGuy 1
don't ever get a vibrator...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (396)
SirPlagueRat 6
Run.
jonathan6773 5
He needs therapy.
nutcrackers 2
I think you should be worried about his violence. you don't know what he has inside. it's stuffed animals for now, but anytime it could become you who gets kicked.
fionaes 3
my boyfriend was jealous of my fav stuffed bear and he ripped its head off when we were fighting one day so be careful o.o
Zomg_Okay 27
Be wary OP. If he reacts violently to a stuffed toy spending the night with he will probably be quite dangerous if you gave him a real reason to be angry.
cmb8280 24
One word hunny: RUN
Jeffk5740 0
anger management or valium might help
Shadow_Phantom 26
Yeah... that's not tell-tale at all... [/sarcasm] Be wary.
DearestPluto 0
I honestly kinda think that's cute
heather0248 0
cute till she gets thrown around and kicked .
MxRusko 0
This calls for a duel!