By Attacksloth - 23/04/2015 22:45 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, I found out that, given the correct velocity, a used condom can actually fly through a tiny window and slap you on the leg. I also found out that when you go to the window to yell at the perpetrator, they might have more ammunition. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 869
You deserved it 4 017

Attacksloth tells us more.

Attacksloth 33

OP here. I was at a university, so like all schools, sex is fairly common here. I actually don't know if the contents were... legit sperm, but it seemed like they had the correct colour and, regrettably, consistency, judging by the shit left on my leg. It didn't look like pudding or mayonnaise or anything edible. Right now I'm just talking myself into a sense of security by telling myself that nobody in their right mind would actually be that disgusting. The second one missed me, because I saw them chucking it, so I ducked out of the way. Luckily I had extra pants from the gym so I just changed into those, and I refused to touch the condoms until a janitor came in with some heavy duty gloves. I don't think it was an act of revenge, because I haven't really talked to people much this year - I'm either with my wife, exercising alone, or researching alone. The boy who threw them was with a girl and they were both laughing. I memorized their faces, so if I see them on campus, they can receive some "polite Canadian justice".

Top comments

I'm just imagining it exploding on impact...

were they just carrying shit loads of used condoms for no reason?..


Very gross. I hope OP doesn't have any cuts, because they could possibly get an std from that.

Sick *****...having more ammunition, did they...*save* more? Who in the **** saves a used condom?

I hope it wasn't actually a used condom and that the perpetrator just made it look that way. Otherwise that is pretty disgusting and so unhealthy!

were they just carrying shit loads of used condoms for no reason?..

That's disgusting, I hope you are fine. Hope you had a shower too.

Sounds like you were in a sticky situation

Did they collect a bunch of used condoms just to throw them at you? Was it an act of vengeance? I wonder what you have done that was so bad..

Correction...I believe it's "Call of Willy, Modern Whorefare" lol

When you are walking into a rubber match like that, all I can tell you is, you better come prepared......

rabid_otaku 29

No, you'd better CUM prepared.

sir, we are running out of ammo... well, keep em cumming