By Anonymous - 28/02/2012 02:12 - United States
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I guess it depends. Maybe she actually regrets it and feels awful and is going to change, and maybe OP is the kind of person that can forgive something like that and move past it, but personally I couldnt. I would get a good lawyer, divorce her and never look back.
Yeah as much as I hate cheaters people on here are forgetting that the fact that she actually confessed says something. He probably never would have found out otherwise. If your spouse wants to truly be honest with you to the point where they'll admit doing that it means that they actually do care. Cheating is wrong and there's no question about that, but we all have moments of weakness where we do stupid things we regret later. Again, not saying that to say it's okay. I'm only pointing out that just because I've never cheated doesn't mean I have the right to get on a high horse and act like I'm better than everyone cause I've made mistakes, just different ones. If the husband truly doesn't want to be with her anymore I do think he has the right under those circumstances and shouldn't be judged for it, but if he decides he wants to try and work it out that's also something to be admired.
She should have just confessed right away, but be honest: If you cheated on your significant other and regretted it almost immediately after, do you think you'd actually confess right away? Yes that's the right thing to do, but be honest with yourself: you probably wouldn't. It's pretty judgmental to just assume that the only reason she waited until now to tell him was because she wanted to make sure they were already in the marriage first so he'd be less likely to dump her. That might be true, it might not. It may very well be that she was just too afraid to tell him because she didn't want him to leave her so she tried to just keep it secret, but after a few months she just couldn't live with herself anymore. Either way she was in the wrong for not coming clean right away, but again, most people wouldn't have it in them to confess the next day.
Nobody said it makes the original act okay. It just means that the person is trying to make the right choice now. Cheating is a wrong. Hiding it forever is another wrong. When people screw up the best thing to do is take responsibility and accept the consequences. At least then they've made one right choice. You're the idiot if you don't understand that.
Well, I say it's iffy. I mean, she did marry OP and as far as we know, she stopped seeing the other guy. I say a second chance is in place as she could have always not told you and/or continued to sleep with the other guy quite easily, but she didn't. Ofc, do be a bit more watchful, but I say she can redeem herself. Stick in there for a bit.
116, Yes that is an opinion. Plenty of other people will argue that it is very possible to love someone and still cheat on them. I suppose the only way you can validate your claim even with yourself is to have been in a situation of temptation with several partners, and cheated on all of the partners you never truly loved. If you didn't, your opinion is invalidated, because it would suggest you're just not someone who will cheat in the first place.
The last thing you said is exactly right. I'm not the kind of person who would cheat on my husband because I LOVE him, I know what loyalty and fidelity are, and I have some morals. If you cheat on someone, you're saying "fuck you, I care more about my own temporary physical pleasure than about your feelings". You don't give a fuck you like that to someone you love.
You weren't married then, and you are now. She hadn't done it since you were married so... I don't really see why this is a fml
If he had found out later what difference would it have made? They would still be married either way. She was a cunt and waited 'til he was stuck with her to tell him...I don't see an upside to being told now...I'm sorry I just don't understand. Maybe It's just something I don't see.
I would rather have honesty than loyalty any time (still want both though). That way I can at least make a decision based on all the facts, not just the ones I know.