Today, I finally kicked my awful nail-biting habit. All it took was a fractured jaw. I haven't been able to chew anything for two weeks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after having my jaw wired shut for 2 months, I finally got to eat. During the first bite of my sandwich I pulled my jaw out of place. FML
Today, I lost a tooth and got my jaw wired shut after my toddler managed to break my jaw by whacking me with a plastic toy. Hello at least 8 weeks of being unable to talk while only eating meals that have been thoroughly blitzed into a liquid form first. FML
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
Today, I decided that I need to lose weight when I discovered I could no longer chew on my own toenails. FML
Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML
Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML
Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML
Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML
Today, after dealing with a monstrously painful canker sore for the last two weeks, it finally healed up. I was so relieved that I went out to lunch… and immediately stabbed myself in the gums with a tortilla chip. FML
Today, I pulled a muscle in my face. Chewing gum. For the second time. FML
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Top comments
Fgjvshnb 22
Way to look on the bright side!
derangedplanet 23
That majorly bites. or it doesn't
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Comments (28)
xsaladsandwich 15
I feel you. Braces are the same way, sort of but basically suck on your food really hard, (not that way get your mind out of the gutter) until it's soft, then kinda just swallow/chew whatever you want.
kateannobrien 23
It’s kind of the same, but literally nothing like that. I’ve had both. They wire your jaw shut if you fracture it which means you can’t open your mouth at all. They tell you you can blend ‘anything’ and eat through a straw but that’s far from the truth. Tomato soup is basically the only thing that you can eat that doesn’t have to be drastically changed to consume it. You live mostly on Ensure for the calories/vitamins...for more than two months. Welcome to hell..I cried every single meal
saraaa2552 15
Hey one door closes and two doors open
Grimmerie 31
There's a website called Stimtastic that sells food grade silicone jewelry specifically for chewing! Better for your mouth and your fingernails. They're less than $10 and come in lots of different shapes and colours. Hope your jaw heals soon!
thejonac 21
aren't those for teething toddlers? sorry #16 but tbh i think OP should be trying to get rid of the bad habit, not finding a substitute for it. if this was so, he/she might as well just eat more - it helps with the chewing, and gives you nutrients. and if OP is diet-conscious, there's fat-free stuff out there too. i think it's honestly much better if OP just kicks the habit :x
Bryce8 11
Well hopefully that helps you stop it for good! Good luck!
PhoenixChick 26
Oof, that sucks. My hub was on a no-chewing regimen for three months after surgery. Never thought I'd make someone a mashed potato and gravy smoothie before. I'd recommend looking up "Dysphagia recipes." There is actually a good cookbook or two out there that can help make the liquid diet less irritating.
worldclassrager 41
You must have some hard nails...at least you've quit...new the decision is file or cut them...
jim10 4
Geno smith is that you?
Lalala579121 28
The new backup for the Jets, yep.
Dramori 29
Breaking your jaw is a bit of an extreme way to stop biting your nails, no? ;)
DarkCvengence 15
how do you break your jaw with a nail I can see a tooth but a jaw wow
bigdfootball97 24
Geno Smith, is that you?