Miscellaneous: Today, I felt flexible in my yoga class. I put my legs in the...

By MyLegsHurt - United States - San Francisco

Today, I felt flexible in my yoga class. I put my legs in the butterfly position and tried to press them down. Both my hips popped very painfully and I screamed in the middle of a quiet room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22639

You deserved it

3805

Favorite

Miscellaneous

Commando

Sorry…

Goodbye phone

By Scared - United States - Pacific

Today, I fell asleep while watching the Ted Bundy documentary. I'm a woman, home alone, in Seattle. The nightmares were so scary, I may never want to sleep again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1625

You deserved it

721

Favorite

By iusedprotectionanyway - New Zealand - Waitakere

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44010

You deserved it

3488

Favorite

By Lonelyhopeful

Today, I was driving in a busy area looking for a place to park. I happened to lock eyes with a really handsome man who was walking alongside the road. He approached my car with a huge, gorgeous smile, and as I rolled my window down he asked, "Are you my Uber?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

8519

You deserved it

945

Favorite

By Anonymous - 18/8/2020 17:11

Get rid of the evidence!

Today, while my roommate was taking a bath, I became horribly sick out of nowhere. Since the bathroom was occupied, I ended up having explosive diarrhea in an Amazon box in my bedroom, which I immediately ran out to the dumpster. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1531

You deserved it

131

Favorite

By wtf - United States

Today, my ex girlfriend that I still love sent me a text, quote "I still love you, but i'm not IN love with you" Um, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks

28499

You deserved it

3594

Favorite

By zzfreakshow - United States - San Francisco

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44728

You deserved it

5007

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my baby-crazy mother expressed her concerns that I haven't conceived after a whole two months of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorced while you're still hot, sleep around until you get pregnant, then marry the winner." When I complained to my father, he supported her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38929

You deserved it

3149

Favorite

By AccioBucket - 12/2/2021 11:02

Overreach

Today, I'm banned from the only working bathroom in my house because my mother is cleansing for an upcoming colonoscopy. My options are either a bucket in the basement, or wetting myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

798

You deserved it

Favorite

By Pissed - United States - Newton Center

Today, at a family reunion, we all squeezed in for a picture. I set the self-timer and ran to get in it. 2 seconds before the picture went off, some guy came up, stole the camera, and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29311

You deserved it

2490

Favorite

By Anonymous - 19/12/2020 01:04 - Iraq - Basrah

Leeches

Today, I found out that if my husband and I move to another country to live, then his mom and sister will live with us too. I'm already living with them because of societal traditions. I like them and everything, but I really need some privacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

849

You deserved it

287

Favorite

By little_star78 - United States - Bloomfield Hills

Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60048

You deserved it

3586

Favorite

By Unlucky - Australia - Cairns

Today, I realized that at 20 years old I already have noticeable wrinkles around my eyes. But to balance it out, my chronic acne keeps me looking youthful. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32851

You deserved it

3005

Favorite

By Unsatisfied - Canada

Today, I found the only man who hates sex. He's my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29911

You deserved it

4641

Favorite

By Jenbearish

Today, the laziest person in my department came and complained to me, while I was working, that they didn't know why we were so far behind today. Then they went to chat to their friend for 45 minutes. I know why. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15731

You deserved it

1055

Favorite

By awkwardRA

Today, one of my residents was having super loud sex. I'm an RA in a college freshman dorm, and I had to knock on her door and tell her to quiet down. I hate to be a cock-block, but she woke multiple people up, myself included. I live 4 doors down the hall from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3703

You deserved it

414

Favorite

By Distrusting

Today, I have gastro. I sent a text my husband: “It’s definitely a don’t trust a fart day, thankfully haven’t been caught out yet”, but accidentally text my manager instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2181

You deserved it

916

Favorite

By Dee - United States

Today, I was at a party at the house of the guy I really like. We were talking when he pulled me into his room. I was excited he was finally taking our friendship to the next level, until he handed me a stick of deodorant, saying "I didn't wanna tell you in the hallway, but you really need this." FML

I agree, your life sucks

45992

You deserved it

21947

Favorite

By agnosticstudy - United States

Today, I met a woman that I've been emailing and trading pics with for over a month. We had a face to face, she was surprisingly overweight, and the sun hit her face in a way that radiated all her facial hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12260

You deserved it

28750

Favorite

By Noname - United Kingdom

Today, my brother had his fiancée over to meet the whole family. We were having a great time with her, and my mother gushed to her that she was like the daughter she never had. I'm her daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

64192

You deserved it

2979

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Dover

Today, I was helping my Grandfather to sort through tubs and bins after cleaning out his attic, and I had to move a 50lb bin downstairs. That's when the dog thought it would be funny to block the top of the stairs as I was going down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12589

You deserved it

983

Favorite

By TheVirginJenny - United States - Spanaway

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32825

You deserved it

7721

Favorite

By a chick in California - United States - Ceres

Today, all my guy friends kept hugging me tightly and then softly and then tightly again. I later found out they just wanted to feel my boobs on their chests. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35085

You deserved it

8654

Favorite

By ~JESSICA~ - United States

Today, I woke up late to an urgent voicemail from my dad telling me he left me a present in my car. Excited, I went to investigate. I then saw that his "surprise" was fresh fish he had caught. I hate fish, and now my car stinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26793

You deserved it

3587

Favorite

By ripped - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my cat used my head as a springboard and ripped my earring out with her claw. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13742

You deserved it

1349

Favorite

By YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK THE CUSTOMER - United States - Sherwood

Today, at work, a woman came up to the snack bar and ordered a pretzel with no salt. When I served her the food, she angrily complained about it having no salt, followed by her throwing the whole thing in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51111

You deserved it

3449

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Meridian

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57167

You deserved it

5028

Favorite

By no compassion - United States - Aurora

Today, working in customer support, I received a call from a woman who'd just been robbed. My supervisor asked what was taking so long; I told him that she was hysterical. He took my phone and told her to call back when she had her "shit together", then hung up. I take orders from this man. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45238

You deserved it

4002

Favorite

By yosmurf

Smooth.

Today, I finished taking a huge dump at the public restroom at the mall. When I got up to wipe, my wrist clipped my butt and knocked my brand new Apple Watch into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2052

You deserved it

1159

Favorite

By njh - Ireland

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32190

You deserved it

3573

Favorite

By Sarah - United States

Today, my mom barged into my room at three in the morning, demanding to know where I'd been. I'd been in my room sleeping since ten o'clock. In that time she had called the police, all of my friends, and my ex-boyfriend, asking if I was with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39157

You deserved it

2458

Favorite

By Heartbroken - Australia

Today, I have to be at work with a smile on my face, whilst sitting next to the asshole that dumped me last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25244

You deserved it

5592

Favorite

By plasticfantastic - United Kingdom

Today, I met this guy I really liked at a party. We got chatting and then hit the dance floor. We had a "moment" and I went in to kiss him. He shot forward with his tongue already out. His eyes were open. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52615

You deserved it

9598

Favorite

By pissedoffandon - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15902

You deserved it

61668

Favorite

By whygod

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old sister, naked, streaming herself eating a banana. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18200

You deserved it

1382

Favorite

By firstandlastjob - 13/6/2020 14:11

Make it stop

Today, at work I had to listen to a group of old men talk about double penetration. I work at a coffee shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1680

You deserved it

183

Favorite

By Lexi - France

Today, after telling my best friend an idiot could make Kraft Dinner, I spilled boiling water all over my hands and forearms while attempting to strain the noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8186

You deserved it

36140

Favorite

By pinkblankets - United States

Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49005

You deserved it

29806

Favorite

By Anon - United States - Toledo

Today, I got into a car accident. The other driver was going so fast that when we hit, our cars positioned themselves to make it look like it was all my fault. He keeps blaming me for everything and the position of the cars doesn't help. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22601

You deserved it

1462

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto

Today, I discovered that my acne glows yellow and orange under black lights while in front of a wall of them at a club. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26318

You deserved it

2689

Favorite

By FirstDaddy - United States - Southfield

Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63159

You deserved it

4450

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By khorstmye | 15

#6447653 - Thursday 29 October 2015 12:21

Your hips don't lie

By Welshite | 39

#6447646 - Thursday 29 October 2015 12:17

Yoga is all about yielding. It's goes against the very principle of yoga to force your body into a position it's not ready for.

COMMENTS

By jx88 | 14

#6447645 - Thursday 29 October 2015 12:17

Hope you are all right OP! That sounds painful.

By Welshite | 39

#6447646 - Thursday 29 October 2015 12:17

Yoga is all about yielding. It's goes against the very principle of yoga to force your body into a position it's not ready for.

walker9879 | 25

#6448082 - Thursday 29 October 2015 21:31

I thought you said yelling and I laughed much more then when I realized it said yielding.

By arano | 29

#6447647 - Thursday 29 October 2015 12:18

All I can say to this one is FYL.

XxDanno316xX | 27

#6447678 - Thursday 29 October 2015 12:58

You could just push the button mate.

arano | 29

#6448314 - Friday 30 October 2015 3:53

You could've just agreed instead of being a douche.

By xxlittlemsanime | 24

#6447650 - Thursday 29 October 2015 12:18

Shit! I can feel the pain. Don't push yourself until something hurts.

By Geek_Freak | 13

#6447651 - Thursday 29 October 2015 12:18

Are you ok? It sounds very painful. I hope you feel better. ☺️

By khorstmye | 15

#6447653 - Thursday 29 October 2015 12:21

Your hips don't lie

vikky538 | 28

#6447690 - Thursday 29 October 2015 13:50

It only cry

Nickiminajislyfe | 20

#6448570 - Friday 30 October 2015 13:36

That's just evil

By Queensland | 27

#6447656 - Thursday 29 October 2015 12:24

Yoga to be kidding me.

By RainbowLibster | 17

#6447657 - Thursday 29 October 2015 12:24

I'm sure that nobody blamed you for screaming OP. Hope you feel better soon :(

By Livin_Like_Larry | 29

#6447659 - Thursday 29 October 2015 12:30

Just to sure, I would check with a doctor. Better safe than sorry.

By 2C0OL4SCH0OL | 17

#6447661 - Thursday 29 October 2015 12:31

Yoga is for revealing stress you shouldn't force yourself to do something painful and you should try to have fun OP