Miscellaneous: Today, I fell asleep in my driver's ed class, and I woke up in...

By Biggest Jerk - United States

Today, I fell asleep in my driver's ed class, and I woke up in a middle of a dream laughing. Everyone stared at me. I found out that the teacher had just finished talking about his vegetative niece who didn't wear a seat belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17768

You deserved it

38413

Favorite

Miscellaneous

Dementia or hate? You decide

Dangling modifier

Free healthcare for all

By xoxo96 - United States

Today, I went to a Bat Mitzvah. We played a game where all of the girls grabbed one of their shoes and placed it in the middle. Then, all of the guys had to pick a shoe. Whatever guy picked the shoe, the girl had to dance with. No one picked my shoe. Everyone else was dancing except for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58316

You deserved it

5088

Favorite

Bachelor party

Today, I had to cancel my wedding because my fiancé is so hungover from his bachelor party, he's throwing up all over the place, can't stand up straight and is calling me by the stripper's name he met yesterday night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3080

You deserved it

412

Favorite

By daniel55 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39286

You deserved it

5847

Favorite

By IceWrath - United Kingdom - York

Today, my elderly dad learned how to use Facebook. He now spends most of his time messaging me about his meals, his bowel movements and his foot fungus. He's now learning how to use Skype. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25016

You deserved it

2402

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I met a girl who was just as socially anxious as me. We spent the whole night staring at each other, then quickly looking away when the other person saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18676

You deserved it

2639

Favorite

By poppet2010 - France

Today, my uncle died. It was also my grandpa's 85th birthday. His reaction to the death? "Best birthday gift ever!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

35592

You deserved it

2824

Favorite

By My_Cow_kiM - United States

Today, I told my mom I'm severely allergic to my cat and that the doctor told me it would be best to get rid of the cat. Somewhat jokingly, I told her it was either me or the cat. She chose the cat. She was serious too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50370

You deserved it

5580

Favorite

By ugh - United States

Today, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu," remarked how I look "so grown up for your age," and asked what grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31652

You deserved it

2032

Favorite

By confused - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because we got into a fight over what color that confusing black and blue and white and gold dress was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35276

You deserved it

25865

Favorite

By helpless_soul - United States

Today, while standing in line at the video store, I happen to notice a very hot young girl on the TV screen, and mentioned to my friend that I'd "hit that." I was immediately punched by the girl in front of me. Seems the hot girl on TV was her on a security monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13005

You deserved it

50367

Favorite

By Username - United States

Today, I got home to find my truck smashed by a fallen old tree. I was going to have the tree removed next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31719

You deserved it

5920

Favorite

By erika - United States

Today, I got a sunburn all over my stomach from a tanning bed. In an attempt to relieve the itching, I looked up natural treatments since we have no aloe. After trying yogurt, milk and mayo I found out that our water was shut off so the shower could be fixed. I now reek of mayo and milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15809

You deserved it

46821

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, for my Teen Living class, all the students got a fake baby. In order to stop the baby from crying, you have to use the bracelet they provide. I lost the bracelet. I have the baby all weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9652

You deserved it

40829

Favorite

By Oops - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, I accidentally spilled red wine on my cat. She ran away and licked the wine off before I had a chance to clean her. My mother is deeply concerned our cat is dying. I'm trying to tell her to wait 24 hours before taking her to the vet's, simply because I think my cat is hung over. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7765

You deserved it

1236

Favorite

By Alisha-_-

Today, I found out that the love of my life had been pleasuring himself to pictures of my ex-boyfriends. Yes, he's bisexual. He says it's ok because I'm dating him now. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3127

You deserved it

424

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Compton

Today, I was at a pool party with my friends. I really had to pass gas so I moved a bit from the group and let it rip. Instead of bubbles surfacing a brown cloud of poo rose instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1510

You deserved it

3095

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Freeport

Today, my husband got fired from his job as a maintenance man at our apartment complex for accidentally letting a hooker into someone's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19336

You deserved it

2244

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my grown up, unemployed boyfriend stole 70 dollars from my wallet and tried to hide it in two different places in case he needed to ditch me and go out by himself. He got angry when I confronted him and stormed out. He feels perfectly entitled. I work, pay rent and buy food. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29313

You deserved it

7099

Favorite

By Nothing Special - United States - Hixson

Today, it's been a week since I flew down to stay with my long distance boyfriend. We went on long walks on the shore, under the stars, and had an unforgettable picnic viewing the sunset. I just now received a message of screenshots displaying him attempting to hook up with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22634

You deserved it

1776

Favorite

By Username - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks

52287

You deserved it

9573

Favorite

By Anonymous

Nature is so wonderful!

Today, I was backpacking, and I was in a tent. It had rained all day and finally, I was dry. I settled down in my slightly damp sleeping bag. I woke up halfway through the night with a frog on my face and my feet in freezing cold water. Our tent had drifted into a frog pond. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1518

You deserved it

394

Favorite

By infrontofninepeople - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I went on a Segway tour in Budapest. The Segways have an automatic speed limiter, and to release it and get back to normal speed, you have to brake. Unfortunately, I forgot my speed limiter was on and so, while trying to brake, I instead returned to normal speed and crashed into a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22332

You deserved it

4666

Favorite

By RedFaced - Netherlands - Capelle Aan Den Ijssel

Today, I discovered the effect the cream has that my mom gave me. It was for my acne and it worked, in a way. Instead of having a lot of little pimples, I now just have a few gigantic ones. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12109

You deserved it

802

Favorite

By Schubey - Canada - North Bay

Today, it was my birthday, and I woke up to my dad telling me that we're going to Disneyland. Apparently, by "we" he meant him and my mom. They did, however, make a point to say "happy birthday" before they left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36966

You deserved it

2049

Favorite

By anun - Australia

Today, my girlfriend asked me, "Is it in yet?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

31741

You deserved it

7005

Favorite

By Anonymous - 21/5/2020 05:00

TMI

Today, I was trying to teach my Aunt and Gran to use Google drive to share and upload pictures, when I scrolled past an image of my… yep. I didn't have a mirror when the pic was taken and I was concerned about a sore. Now they just think I'm a whore. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1204

You deserved it

470

Favorite

By fmlcops - United States

Today, my car died on a major road, a cop pulled over to help, he offered to jump me, while doing so because my battery was so dead he told me to put the gas on the floor, I did and my car roared to life, he then pulled me over five feet from where my car died to give me a ticket for a loud exhaust. FML

I agree, your life sucks

67154

You deserved it

5435

Favorite

By misshb - United Kingdom

Today, my long term ex, who broke up with me over a year ago and shattered my heart, seduced me (which wasn't hard as he knew I still had feelings for him) and as he pulled out after the couple of minutes of what he called sex, he used the line "There we go, that's your freebie." FML

I agree, your life sucks

12151

You deserved it

22641

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17212

You deserved it

44976

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Elizabethtown

Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25663

You deserved it

2929

Favorite

By Depressedegg

He can run, but he can't hide

Today, my toddler realised that my pregnancy means I can't move easily anymore. He celebrated his freedom by doing everything he's not allowed to, and staying just outside my reach at all times. He loves his new game, and it looks like he's not going to stop anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5599

You deserved it

775

Favorite

By AmICrappyEveryOtherDay - Canada

Today, I received my first compliment in a really long time. It went, "Hey, you don't look like crap today." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29272

You deserved it

4289

Favorite

By Charlie - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

41410

You deserved it

4891

Favorite

By soliveyerlife - United States

Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home at 1am this morning from a friend's birthday party. I'm 30 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

66927

You deserved it

127908

Favorite

By Churizmo - United States

Today, I was at a party and I really had to use the bathroom. There were 30-40 people talking outside the door, so I thought it would be ok to make some noise. Just as I'm about to begin having explosive diarrhea, everyone falls silent as my dad begins to pray for our meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51609

You deserved it

5436

Favorite

By thanksma - United States - Stilwell

Thanks for the heads up

Today, at his request, I met up with my brother for lunch so we could catch up. Apparently, our mother put him up to it so he could tell me our parents are getting a divorce. They didn't want to tell me themselves because I'm "too emotional." FML

I agree, your life sucks

6711

You deserved it

629

Favorite

By sochunky - United Kingdom - Bromham

Today, someone had thrown up onto the last remaining seat on the train. Guess who accidentally sat in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20944

You deserved it

3370

Favorite

By badass - United States

Today, I started to fall in love with my wife again. We are in the middle of a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43315

You deserved it

18321

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I gave a campus tour to a group of high school seniors. As I was showing off the dorms, one student asks, "Are these beds sturdy enough for threesomes?" Before I could respond, another kid shouts, "How would he know, I bet the only action he gets in bed is from his left hand." She's correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks

108864

You deserved it

11780

Favorite

By I'm out - United States - Huntsville

Today, I found a thong at my boyfriend's house. When I confronted him about it, he panicked and claimed it was his mom's. Right. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16415

You deserved it

1314

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Feel_It | 0

#23159 - Monday 9 March 2009 10:45

Fun Fact: Every Driver's Ed teacher has a comatose/dead/horribly disfigured sibling/cousin/uncle as a result of drunk/drowsy/reckless driving

By troynt | 2

#2269 - Sunday 15 February 2009 5:00

omg I ALWAYS fell asleep in Drivers Ed. I thought it was a sign that I would fall asleep at the wheel, luckily that hasn't happened yet.

COMMENTS

By ZING_MASTER | 0

#2259 - Sunday 15 February 2009 3:48

I lol'd.

At the driver's ed teacher.

By troynt | 2

#2269 - Sunday 15 February 2009 5:00

omg I ALWAYS fell asleep in Drivers Ed. I thought it was a sign that I would fall asleep at the wheel, luckily that hasn't happened yet.

By lazorzpewpew | 0

#2659 - Monday 16 February 2009 17:40

Never took driver's Ed, but I imagine it's pretty boring ;P
Lol at situation.
I've woken up in a different class before, was pretty awkward...

By Jessaly_fml | 0

#2737 - Monday 16 February 2009 20:48

What were you dreaming about...?

By Feel_It | 0

#23159 - Monday 9 March 2009 10:45

Fun Fact: Every Driver's Ed teacher has a comatose/dead/horribly disfigured sibling/cousin/uncle as a result of drunk/drowsy/reckless driving

phreshboi | 1

#1147997 - Tuesday 27 July 2010 14:26

me too

melissaferns | 16

#6200035 - Thursday 12 February 2015 2:11

yep i was actually gonna comment. either this it's quite common among drivers ed teachers or total bs. since the drivers ed teachers at mine and my friends schools (3 different ones) all had a similar story. scare tactics maybe?

SuperWhoMarvLock | 22

#6309188 - Wednesday 3 June 2015 9:50

For me, it was the teacher himself! He was hit horribly by a drunk driver, and looks completely different than he did before the accident. He tells all about his accident.