Health: Today, I dried my hands on the same towel I used this morning...

By Anonymous - 04/03/2011 17:18 - Germany

Today, I dried my hands on the same towel I used this morning to wipe up a few shards of glass. You can't see the small splinters in my hands, but believe me, I can feel them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 844

You deserved it 42 288

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Same thing different taste

Pincushion

By Anonymous - 28/04/2020 23:00

Today, I accidentally broke a vase. When I was clearing it up, I used my bare hand to sweep up the shards without thinking. I'm still fishing pieces of broken glass out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 2 049

Getting a head start on the Halloween look

By Ouch - 26/10/2019 22:00

Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 479

You deserved it 182

By Anonymous - 19/02/2017 01:00 - Australia - Stretton

Today, I was in the shower washing my hair when my hand ran down the shower caddy and in particular, on my razor. If I wasn't woozy from all the blood splatter around the shower - seeing the bone that connects my finger definitely did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 565

You deserved it 771

Feel this FML

By Anonymous - 30/07/2016 17:45 - Mexico - Saltillo

Today, I now know how it feels to have a splinter of wood hammered a full inch underneath your fingernail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 693

You deserved it 1 047

By spooked - 05/11/2014 20:44 - Australia - Sydney

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 055

You deserved it 2 763

By Employee - 07/08/2012 19:17 - United States - Lincoln

Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 435

You deserved it 12 612

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 01:32 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I ran a hand down my freshly shaven leg to appreciate the smoothness, only to come up with a hand covered in blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 588

You deserved it 5 551

By Dirty - 23/02/2017 08:00 - Canada

Today, I grabbed a fresh hand towel from the drawer in the bathroom. I wiped my hands and noticed they smelled like shit. My 6-year-old had wiped poo from his finger onto the dark grey towels. I guess he sometimes helps the poo out. Good to know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 360

You deserved it 559

By mosaicevolution - 03/01/2015 04:04 - United States - Decatur

Today, after finishing my second glass of wine, I walked out of the bathroom and saw the tag on my hair dryer from last year's rehab visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 228

You deserved it 16 917

Not my day, is it?

By ouch. - 10/12/2018 09:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 733

You deserved it 348

amerwin 3

Friday 4 March 2011 23:13

I don't suggest masturbating today.

Thisismoses 0

Friday 4 March 2011 23:24

who uses a towel to clean up glass?

Comments

3alawyel7elwa 4

Friday 4 March 2011 23:13

Ouch, I guess you have to be more careful next time :L

iSitt 0

Friday 4 March 2011 23:29

ydi for not throwing that towel away. youll never get all the glass shards out of it.

breena25 0

Saturday 5 March 2011 9:43

stupid...

MarkFeehily 0

Saturday 5 March 2011 10:51

I agree! it could have been worse... you could have used the towel to ********** :P

seanders 10

Saturday 5 March 2011 12:27

Who the **** uses a towel to clean glass?

babyyappld 7

Saturday 5 March 2011 17:03

op why wouldn't you use a broom and dustpan? much more effective.

amerwin 3

Friday 4 March 2011 23:13

I don't suggest masturbating today.

clarissa_Gyall 0

Friday 4 March 2011 23:32

lmfao

FallonFerSure 6

Friday 4 March 2011 23:32

I agree.

babez11 0

Friday 4 March 2011 23:51

only ********** if u want the next person u hav sex with to hav glass up their pussy (that is if op is a guy)

Mercedeh910 0

Saturday 5 March 2011 3:34

I think u have lint in ur eye.

AKlovee787 0

Saturday 5 March 2011 7:09

hahahaha agreed

oliver86 8

Friday 4 March 2011 23:15

you should get that checked out

valri3 0

Friday 4 March 2011 23:16

Yes we all feel compassion and love for you.

Immersion 0

Friday 4 March 2011 23:16

I do believe u op don't worry

picklezz123 5

Friday 4 March 2011 23:16

ouchhhh that sounds terrible

lol_master_007 0

Friday 4 March 2011 23:19

You could, like, totaly be Leatherface's partner in crime now!!! Leatherface & Glasshands!!!!!! DAH DAH DUHHHHH! :)

StormGirl142 24

Saturday 5 March 2011 12:24

This made me giggle :)

you_failed 15

Friday 4 March 2011 23:22

Ooooh. Sorry OP to hear that! D:

Thabb 0

Friday 4 March 2011 23:23

Why did you do that?

dirtyblond 4

Saturday 5 March 2011 8:44

cause hes a retard

shibainu519 0

Friday 4 March 2011 23:23

that poor towel has to be in so much pain! :(

agranger51 0

Saturday 5 March 2011 22:27

haha!!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 170

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 670

You deserved it 39 754

The Top

Today, I received a call from my employer. They found that some of my nudes have surfaced on the internet. Personal nudes and videos I took exclusively for my boyfriend. He denies he put them out there. Then who did? How stupid does he think I am? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 048

You deserved it 587

Today, my best friend was walking next to her crush, so I pushed her into him gently as a joke. She ended up stepping on his foot, which caused him to fall and crack his head against the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 277

You deserved it 5 912

Today, at 6 am, I was suddenly jerked from the warm embraces of sleep by the smell of poo. I was very groggy and confused when my hand landed in something wet and cold. I turned on the light and was horrified to find that my kitten took a huge dump in my bed. It was everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 622

You deserved it 571

Today, I spent 3 hours making a birthday card for my boyfriend, delicately cutting each letter out of printed coloured paper. He used it as a coffee coaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 191

You deserved it 8 532

Today, I got harassed and screamed at by a middle-aged man for parking in a spot close to the store, because he wanted the same spot so he didn't have to walk so far with his groceries. He took a photo and vowed to report me to the authorities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 804

You deserved it 3 923

Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 897

You deserved it 58 063

Same thing different taste

Pincushion

Getting a head start on the Halloween look

Feel this FML

Not my day, is it?

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