Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
Today, as I pulled to a halt at a stop sign, a cyclist ripped through the air, slammed straight into my fender, and almost launched over my car. I ended up being cited for reckless driving. FML
Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML
Today, while walking to my car after work, I witnessed some moron who was texting while riding her bike running right into my parked car, resulting in a broken side mirror, a damaged windshield, two dents, and for her, a broken phone and nose. She's threatening to sue me for damages. FML
Today, I stopped at a light when someone crashed into my motorcycle, making me fall. The guy claimed it was my fault because I'd stopped too fast. I got really mad, so I attempted to spit on his face and was ready to start a fight when I noticed that I'd forgotten to lift the helmet visor. FML
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML
Today, I got into an accident and my bike broke. My insurance expired 5 days ago and the accident wasn't even my fault. The lady was on the phone and on the wrong side of the road. She's threatening to sue me even though her car is in better condition. There are no witnesses and no cameras either. FML
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Top comments
PrussiaisAwesome 15
I like to see him try to sue. That would be so funny.
mzrobinson 13
Sue back for assault and harassment! (;
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Comments (251)
wellthatsukx 0
Just walk away laughing.
klimrod89_fml 2
Welcome to America
tj4234 36
I didn't realize that Australia is a US state #135
Alastrina_fml 20
I'd flip him off and keep walking. Karma is the bigger bitch.
monagro 22
Sounds like an utter ********.
alana_mccafferz 4
Only in Australia.
Sliver1991 26
Not really only in Australia, #146
AubreyDucrat 8
I would have ran up, made sure he was ok, then slapped him in the face, ran off and gave him the finger haha
benmec 18
I would have taken a pipi on him. Hopefully one of those rich asparagus pees. Then kick his teeth in. Then call emergency services, but only after you've had a smoke... ;)
asliceoflife 11
What a dick
marramrammar 2
You are nice! I would stomped the crap out of him, while he was coming around from that pole. Let him sue- make sure you press assault charges first, and counter sue for neck injury and emotional distress.
The_F3rris 11
I would've laughed and went inside.