Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML
Today, I discovered that my bed has a flea infestation. I discovered it after sleeping naked in it for about an hour. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I moved back in after over a month of couch hopping and $2,000 of heat and chemical treatments for a chronic bedbug issue. I just found bedbugs on my legs. We've used all our favors and have nowhere to go. FML
Today, after being moved to three different employer-provided apartments because they all had mold and electrical problems, I requested a bigger bed. The bed they delivered had bedbugs. FML
Today, after three visits from exterminators and another from a steam cleaner, I still have bedbugs. FML
Today, I found out that my recurring acne is actually bedbug bites. I have wasted about a hundred dollars on acne cream. FML
Today, after finally going to therapy for anxiety like everyone wanted, I discovered the itching feeling that kept me awake at night was actually caused by a bedbug infestation. FML
Today, I woke up to something crawling on my leg. Thinking it might be a spider, I jumped out frantically to check. The good news: it's not a spider. The bad news: it's a bedbug. My apartment was just treated for them. FML
Today, I learned that my house's fly infestation is worse than I thought. I now have maggots crawling and dropping from my ceiling. I have to sleep under them. FML
Today, one of my employees called in after his 8-hour shift, explaining that he had bed bugs at home, found one on his shirt, and thinks they are in the store. I own a mattress shop. They'd spread. FML
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Top comments
UpsidedownKayak 9
Anti-peasents? That's what is wrong with this kingdom, there are too many peasants. We need to find ways to motivate them to grow and harvest food more efficiently. The floggings are just not working like they used to do. That way we can increase our manpower for the construction of the castle. I would like it to be completed in thirty years so I can use the money left over for the training of knights. We also need to widen the forest by the road so there is safe passage through Sherwood Forest.
alwa7sh 2
Apparently they are the only ones keeping you company in bed.
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Comments (204)
mct_1087 27
Do you only make $80 per year or something?
mthurston 14
Sleep on the front lawn
simmybaby_ 13
Id rather sleep on the floor.
rhirhi923 23
they make sprays and stuff to kill them, if everything fails try getting a bug bomb and setting them off around your house
Puppypalooza1 4
Seriously cheep alternative. Buy a bed guard. Most people scoff at them as just another additive when buying a mattress, but they really do stop bed bugs from getting through. Make sure to buy a real one. They cost 80-100 dollars. Don't buy a cheap $10 one. In fact they have ones that can zip all the way around your mattress top and bottom. The bed bugs can't get out. Your skin cells can't get in to feed them. Presto. Starved and dead bed bugs. Won't help the rest of your furniture, but you will be able to sleep without being eaten.
Wolverine48Ga 21
Floor. Couch. Chair.
Commander Nova 9
I've had to battle with those little ******* too, get a bag of "Damascus Earth" off Amazon it's about 10$(us) and spread it EVERYWHERE YOU CAN especially under your bed and dressers ect. also you should buy (not sure exactly what there called) little cups that go on he feet of your bed and a mattress case. there not to expensive and be sure to buy one that is made to stop bed bugs. cover the materss with the Damascus Earth and then put on the cover. it will take a while for the Damascus Earth to work but it will.
Aaron Hughes 5
Get one of those mattress cases. The one that keeps things from getting in or out in this case