Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, the previously charming guy I've been seeing for the past two weeks tried to introduce a weekly sex quota into our relationship. FML
Today, my fiancé told me that he expects me to agree to quit my job to cook and clean after we get married, or he will not show up at our wedding. He earns minimum wage and my salary is 17 times higher than his. FML
Today, I found out why my fiancé waited for me to meet his family. We had dinner at their place, the women were not permitted to talk while the men were in the room, also no eye contact with the men, and we had to eat separately. He says he wants me to learn to be a good and decent wife from them. FML
Today, my husband had the cheek to ask me, “What’s for dinner tonight?” and “I have no clean slacks for tomorrow can you wash me some?” no more than 10 minutes after he told me he wants us to see other people. FML
Today, I decided to try something new and sign up for an online dating service, since I can't meet a decent guy in person. The first guy I talked to told me he used to be in a mental hospital for obsessing over a girl, then told me he would be dreaming of me that night. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. It was going OK, until he started asking me if he should stick with the site until he finds the right person. I guess I know how he feels about me, at least. FML
Today, I went home with the guy I’ve been casually seeing. His place was a disgusting pigsty so I made an excuse to leave. Later he texted me, ending things. Online I saw him bitching about how no one can pass his “girlfriend test” and that a real woman would happily clean for her man. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. We hit it off, and he invited me back to his place. As soon as we got there, his mother came out of nowhere and started interrogating me about "my intentions." FML
Today, for the second time, I met the man I'm having an arranged marriage with in 3 months. I'd previously met him last night, while he was mugging me. FML
Today, I felt comfortable enough to invite the guy I’ve been seeing over to my apartment for the first time. Things immediately got weird when he started to inspect my place top to bottom to make sure it was “clean to his standards”. I told him to leave when he started going in my closet. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
the_enigma1019 1
Please, don't believe all guys are like this, we hate people like this equally as much.
Leadamp 7
Just don't see him again. You'll find somebody
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (138)
Samster2000 9
Cook your body twice a day? I know hot girls are attractive, but...
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Well those "tanning" beds weren't originally meant for tanning, you know...
Jonaahhhh 12
When he heard that "hot" girls are the way to go, he took it much too literally.
perdix 31
I can see how you'd clean and submit your body for sex twice a day, but how do you cook your body for sex?
crypticundead 4
With a turkey baster.
Spectre529 12
18- dear god... The mental image...
tsent8 15
31 you don't wanna know where the stuffing goes.
BulldogHoops 14
There are some guys that really still treat women like items, apparently this is one of them. Don't go out with him again.
fadingaway 17
The way you've placed the inverted commas makes it look like he wants you to clean and cook your body.
Spectre529 12
I would put some distance between you and him... Major distance. Mexico is good. And this is what happens when you find a "match" online. Great odds you'll wind up with a creep like that
FML_Whale 18
The ocean is a great place. OP should come here, it's easy to avoid creepy people. Or people in general.
perdix 31
Just say yes and move on. Once you're married, you can ratchet it down to twice a season and there's not a goddamned thing he can do about it.
glamorous18 10
RUN.
ICastillo 25
You should have just got up and left and never talked to that fool again.
badactor009 0
You may see a few frogs before you find your prince. Don't settle for less than someone who makes you feel good about yourself when you are with them.
FML_Whale 18
Who knew the Joker could have such good advice?
anedderm 4
Damn 50 shades...
thrAsHeRr9081 16
What does that have to do with this FML?