Today, I decided to come onto my husband to switch things up. When I started kissing and trying to undress him, he pushed me off, saying "What're you doing? Jeopardy's about to start." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML
Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML
Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML
Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, "Don't get naked in front of the TV." FML
Today, I started doing a striptease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML
Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML
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Top comments
rangerPat 12
I'll take dick husbands for a thousand, Alex.
beehardxcore 26
What is "how to effectively ****-block oneself?"
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Comments (83)
RAGE5119 9
He wants to look at Alex instead
cmb8280 24
Your mother, Trebek!! LMFAO
rokolodo 10
That's my life, wifey rejects me all the time. Wish she was like you. I'm always ready 24/7. When we were younger she'll wake me up to having some.
jeff_757 5
Now you know how it feels. You do it once and write a post on a website. If he wrote a FML post each time you pushed him off there would not be room on here for anything else.
ChibiChibi_fml 27
It is ridiculous to assume that all women make a habit of turning their man down on a constant basis. I am a woman and personally 8 out of 10 times that my man wants it, we do it. The only times I turn him down is 1) When I am genuinely feeling too sore/sick to function or 2) When he decides he wants it while I'm in the middle of doing something like cooking. For all you know the OP could be the same way and just this once thought she would try to initiate the sexcapades before he did.
Arrawyn 12
Jeopardy's amazing, come on.
guitarst1071995 12
Don't get in between a man and his jeopardy!
sublimaze 6
Just another example of how it is acceptable for a woman to reject a man's advances, yet it is unthinkable for a man to do the same.
ChibiChibi_fml 27
No, this is an example of why it is not acceptable to RUDELY reject your partners advances. A simple "Not right now, I'm not in the mood" or "I'm not really feeling the sex thing right now and would prefer to watch jeopardy" would be far more acceptable from a woman or a man then pushing your partner away and demanding to know what they are doing because Jeopardy is starting. If it had been a woman performing the same act she would be just as much of a **** as he was being a dick.
ohSNAPyall 26
At least it's an intellectual show.
jbicchinella 4
Question: Whose on the couch tonight? Answer: what is husband? Coooooorect!! Lol :)
Allhailzod 1
Women tell men "no" all the time & think nothing of it, yet if the guy says "no", they want to make a federal case out of it. Sucks when the shoe is on the other foot, doesn't it?