Today, I decided to come onto my husband to switch things up. When I started kissing and trying to undress him, he pushed me off, saying "What're you doing? Jeopardy's about to start." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML
Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML
Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML
Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, "Don't get naked in front of the TV." FML
Today, I started doing a striptease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML
Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML
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Top comments
rangerPat 12
I'll take dick husbands for a thousand, Alex.
beehardxcore 26
What is "how to effectively ****-block oneself?"
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Comments (83)
cowboyup92 3
Everyone is saying what an ass, but this is what happens to men ALL the time
MattButts 3
Never come between a Jeopardy! junkie and his/her fix!
Deathonabun 1
Man, sometimes a dude just wants to watch Jeopardy. Nothing wrong with that. Sure, he was a little rude, but hey, it happens. Only a problem if he's consistently a jerk.
iwin8166 13
This is only acceptable if it's the new episode of the walking dead.
wowthatsux53 11
Priorities
hoosiergirl94 31
I love that show :)