Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my new neighbors when they backed into my parked car. FML
Today, I came outside to leave for work. To my shock and horror my car was gone. My asshole neighbor, who has parked in my spot multiple times decided to let her noisy guests park in my parking spot, so I parked in hers. She had my car towed. FML
Today, I got a parking ticket for parking in my neighbors' parking spot. I parked there because my neighbors were parked in my parking spot. FML
Today, in my tidy, small-town neighborhood, I parked my car 50 metres further back from my usual spot just across from our house on a half-empty public street, because it was taken. Apparently, someone didn't appreciate this. So much so, they put a used condom under my windshield wiper. FML
Today, my new neighbors moved in across the street. Also today, they began to park at the end of my driveway. Not used to a car being there, I backed out and promptly hit it. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML
Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML
Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML
Today, I found out the day manager has been illegally entering my apartment when I’m not home. My car was in the shop, so when he saw my parking spot empty, he came right on in. I was just getting out of the shower and was standing stark naked. He didn’t even try to explain. Just smirked. FML
Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
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Top comments
nightfire2258 26
Why did you leave your windows open? Pay him back by pissing in his house!
whyusofat 17
Shit on his car
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Comments (107)
lickastick 27
I mean you did park in HIS spot...
Wowxoxo 17
We've all heard of handicap parking, but asshole parking? That must be new..
lickastick 27
Asshole parking is definitely not new.
Philerup31 12
That Sheldon Cooper is out of control.
DenBriZel 31
Sheldon Cooper strikes again!
jennababe98 9
Well that's a shitty situa...wait. Wrong FML?
misspulkadot24 17
There is no "right" FML for your comment.
Zebediabolical 45
Is it assigned parking spaces? If so you still don't really deserve it but you're a douche for parking in his spot. If it isn't take a dump in a bucket and pour it into his car on a hot day.
stormchaser24 24
Lock doors and close windows? Now go shit in his car
Obey_StudBoii 23
Thrash his tires and put bleach in his engine.
subiedude08 17
Terrible just terrible attempt at a pun
GetPuckedUp 3
and this is why you always lock your doors and roll up your windows!
Obey_StudBoii 23
You tried You failed.