Kids: Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn...

By uselessdad - 07/09/2010 23:48 - Singapore

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 039

You deserved it 8 516

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Same thing different taste

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By Anonymous - 01/10/2023 13:00 - United Kingdom - Altrincham

Today, I got home after working 14 hours completely exhausted and found my wife asleep, after not sleeping for at least 4 nights with our newborn. She woke up and couldn’t remember where she'd left the baby. After a mad panic, she remembered that he's with her mother. We are not coping very well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 126

By Anonymous - 01/11/2010 17:30 - United States

Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 479

You deserved it 10 356

By CutestBoysEver - 30/10/2012 01:30 - United States - Fruita

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 746

You deserved it 2 924

By Anonymous - 07/02/2012 18:15 - United States

Today, I saw my girlfriend at the store and joyfully greeted her. She got really mad at me - it was her identical twin sister, who I still cannot tell apart from my girlfriend. We've been dating for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 928

You deserved it 21 055

Father, you mean father

By Anonymous - 17/11/2020 02:02

Today, I found out wife has two baby daddies for our two kids. I’m neither one’s baby daddy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 145

You deserved it 91

By beekeke45 - 25/06/2011 13:39 - United States

Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 722

You deserved it 67 596

Hello from the other side

By losthusband - 11/10/2020 20:01 - United States

Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 153

You deserved it 198

By Xandar - 09/11/2018 17:30

Today, I was told by my wife that we were going to be parents. We are both females. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 432

You deserved it 513

Mystery man

By LifeSucks - 29/10/2008 11:57 - Canada

Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 688

You deserved it 3 975

By sigh... - 25/06/2010 06:44 - United States

Today, after several hours of trying to get my triplet daughters to go to bed, they finally fell asleep. Exhausted, I went to the bathroom so I could go to bed. Not thinking about it, I dropped the toilet seat down rather loudly and flushed the toilet. All three girls woke up crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 606

You deserved it 27 507

NicoleIsCrazy 0

Wednesday 8 September 2010 9:08

That REALLY SUCKS!

sourgirl101 28

Wednesday 8 September 2010 9:09

Foot prints records.

Comments

november14 0

Thursday 9 September 2010 14:53

hahahahaha this is the funniest and sweetest FML i've ever read!

MWF29FML 0

Friday 10 September 2010 5:12

My husband has twin brothers. I once asked his mom, "How sure are you that [so-and-so] is really [so-and-so] and [other one] is really [other one]?" Her answer: not at all sure! It'll make for a funny story in 20 years!

mschrisaya 4

Friday 10 September 2010 5:57

I agree. Paint their toe nails

suxforyou1225 0

Friday 10 September 2010 7:59

just guess, 50% chance ur rite

KusanagiStyle 3

Friday 10 September 2010 9:31

Hospitals are normally supposed to scar one of the children in a discrete place. It's normally a sliver on the back of the neck, or a sliver on a shoulder. Sucks for you for probably denying that option~

Doc_Holliday 0

Friday 10 September 2010 22:19

I would seriously brand them like cattle.

kevin1873 1

Saturday 11 September 2010 0:03

This is why stupid people shouldn't be allowed to breath, let alone breed. The hospital keeps finger and foot prints. Just take 'em back where you got 'em and figure out or better yet leave them there for a better family ;-)