By joarasmi
Today, I came home to a completely trashed house and just stood there in shock until I heard something upstairs. I ran to heroically catch the robber and, despite being a 4'10" woman, I did it! How? The fat fuck got stuck in my window. FML
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  manofmerr  |  27

I have a cheap toaster. so i don't think that's enough of a reason to shoot, but if (and its likely that this would be the case) the robber tries to attack me, and i'm a 4'10 woman, than i'm sure as shit reaching for a gun. And if the robber is armed, that won't be rock salt hurtling towards him.

  acmariner99  |  24

Legal lesson for non-Americans: most US States have what is called “Castle Doctrine” which means you can use force or deadly force (depending on the state) to stop a forcible felony in your home. There is a presumption that using force to stop an intruder for breaking and entering (which is forcible felony regardless of their intention) is legal and the state has to prove it wasn’t. Attacking an intruder after they have left your property (chasing them down the street and shooting them in the back) isn’t legal.

By  Lobby_Bee  |  17

Pull his pants down and tickle his asshole with a feather. That'll torture him and the best part is, nobody will believe you did it. No wounds, no injury, just psychological damages that would make his sphincter flinch whenever a breeze blows from behind.