Today, my smartwatch detected what it thought was a fall and called emergency services. What was I doing? Dramatically flopping on the couch to binge-watch five episodes of a dating show. Paramedics showed up while I was still clutching a bag of Cheetos. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, at 6 a.m. I rolled over in bed causing my smartwatch to vibrate with an alert that it had detected a hard fall. Ten seconds after I dismissed the alert, I heard a voice from my watch with the dreaded words, "911, what's your emergency?" FML
Today, my smartwatch notified me mid-meeting, saying “You’ve been inactive for an hour, get moving!” I stood up instinctively to “stretch,” only to trip over my chair and send my water bottle flying across the boardroom table. FML
Today, I got my new smartwatch that I ordered for myself on the promise that I would use it for tracking my new exercise routine. Instead, I used it for playing Pong whilst eating cake and drinking wine. FML
Today, I was craving some comfort food, so I grabbed a bag of nachos from the cupboard and sat down to binge-watch Netflix. As I opened the bag, the chips exploded everywhere, spilling all over the couch, and floor. I spent the next half hour picking up crumbs while my dog and cats happily ate the scraps. FML
Today, my smartwatch decided I needed a "stress level" alert during a perfectly calm meeting. It vibrated aggressively, and my boss suggested I take up yoga. FML
Today, after making fun of my dad for years because he falls asleep in front of the TV every night by 9:30, I sat down “just for a minute” after work and woke up at 2 a.m. fully dressed, lights on, with Netflix asking if I was still watching, and a half-eaten wrap stuck to my chest. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard, my smartwatch congratulated me for starting a workout. It ended up being the most exercise I got all day. FML
Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML
Today, I was so tired from staying up late binge-watching my favorite show that I accidentally put my phone in the refrigerator instead of the milk. FML
Today, while watching the morning news, I unexpectedly saw myself! Too bad I was looking puffy at a pizza buffet, loading up my plate. I have tendinitis in my arm and wrist, and the NSAIDs hadn’t kicked in yet. At least I dressed up that day, though. FML
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Top comments
DLBL 23
Weird. Usually those smartwatches will confirm with you if you are in need of help before bothering a goddam ambulance.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Smart watches typically start a 60 second countdown when a fall is detected, with numerous buzzes as warnings that something is going on. Why did you ignore all the warnings?
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Comments (3)
DLBL 23
Weird. Usually those smartwatches will confirm with you if you are in need of help before bothering a goddam ambulance.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Smart watches typically start a 60 second countdown when a fall is detected, with numerous buzzes as warnings that something is going on. Why did you ignore all the warnings?
BurnInDemonFire 39
How hard/far did you fall? I could do a Swanton Bomb off the top rope and my smartwatch would think I was trying to call my parents.