Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it smells like poop. I paid $20 dollars to make my face smell like shit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought some expensive fabric softener since I'm not too keen on my detergent's smell. Only after washing two weeks worth of laundry did I discover that mixed together they realistically mimic the smell of fresh puke. FML
Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML
Today, I bought some perfume that I thought smelled absolutely amazing. Later, my boyfriend walked in, sniffed, and said, "What smells like bacon?" The bottle cost $83. They won't take a refund. FML
Today, I discovered that my expensive new shampoo smells exactly like my ex-girlfriend. So now, whenever I shower, I'm showered with depression. FML
Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML
Today, I finally treated myself and bought my first moisturizer. The woman at Sephora promised it would "retexturize my face." If by "retexturize" she meant, "make it feel like a rubber balloon," then she was right on the money. FML
Today, I discovered I'm allergic to the new perfume I bought and now I smell like a hospital. FML
Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML
Today, something smelled absolutely disgusting in the bathroom. Like cow shit and stinky beetles. I started sniffing around, because whatever it was, I had to find it and clean it up. That, however, proved difficult, because it turned out that smell was coming from the new soap my mom had bought. FML
Today, I discovered that my "life-changing" skincare routine wasn’t working because I’d been using conditioner instead of moisturizer for two weeks. My skin is greasy, and I smell like coconuts. FML
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Top comments
wavesofblue 1
$20 isn't expensive...
Rico255 0
mabey shit is good for the skin also??? worked great on my lawn
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Comments (221)
xxjoseph1543xx 0
In Soviet Russia, poop smells like moisturizer.
ROXXSHIZZLE 0
it's only $20? I thought I would be like $50
porter12 0
ydi, because you said it yourself.. you paid 20 dollars.. to make your face smell like your ass
GeoX14 7
o god, that would suck 0_o
idrivefast 0
why didn't you smell it first???
Fishfanatic 7
YDI for wasting money on overpriced chemical filled rubbish op. One of the best and most commonly used moisturisers for the last...3000 years or so is....Olive oil. Better used on the body rather than the face though. For the face, plain sweet almond oil for normal skin, or for dry skin, Jojoba is better and a little thicker. Just a couple of drops is all you need for your face . Rose oil is good for most skin types as well and smells great as well.
sashabbyx3 0
$20 ? you call that expensive ? expensive is like $100 .
pominoz 0
it's cheaper to buy your husband/boyfriend beer
Criminey 0
People are so ignorant. What is expensive to one person is cheap to another. Anyway, take the poop-smelling moisturizer back to the store. You're the buyer, you dont have to keep something you don't like. If that's impossible for some reason, then buy yourself so soft fluffy socks and use the moisturizer at night to soften your feet. Put a good amount on and don your soft socks for the night. You'll have the softest feet in town!
tswizz 13
No. We are saying it's cheap because it is! It's not just a matter of opinion
banananut 0
88, i heard it's made of bat poo. i'm not sure about that but yeah.. still gross.