Today, I baked strawberry muffins for my family, putting half a strawberry on each of them. Only when it was too late did I realize that they looked like extremely creepy breasts. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML
Today, my coworker brought chocolate muffins to work for everyone. This would have been really nice if they hadn't tasted like rotten blueberry muffins spray-painted brown. I reflexively gagged after taking a bite and coughed up a brown mush in front of her. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's parents' anniversary so I thought I'd do something to impress them. I made them chocolate-covered strawberries. But for some reason they gave me really dirty looks when they saw it. Turns out his mother is allergic to strawberries and his father is allergic to chocolate. FML
Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML
Today, I woke up hungover and went to the kitchen for some food. I saw what I thought was a blueberry muffin. Halfway through eating it, I realized I couldn’t taste any blueberries, so I tried another one. I then remembered my dad telling me to throw out any old food we had. It was mould. FML
Today, I realized that every day without fail, the muffins I've been making and giving to my husband for work have been hitting speeding cars' windshields. FML
Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML
Today, I tried to bake a cake for my friend's birthday. It turned out looking more like a science experiment gone wrong than a cake. FML
Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML
Today, I was eating a brownie my grandmother had made, only to discover an inch long piece of what resembled dead skin in the middle of it. This discovery was only made after taking a bite and wondering why the consistency was wrong. FML
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Top comments
angelitared 27
Cover them with a strawberry frosting! No one will even notice!!!
kotana191 8
Who cares? Whoever makes fun of them doesn't get a muffin.
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Comments (71)
Goblin182 27
Creepy breasts? Never heard of such a thing.
Pixiemels 19
Damn, pic attachments should be available for some FMLs!
kpc2424 13
This sooooo needed a picture!
expertsmilee 26
So what cup size were these cakes?
tehdarkness 21
You are the one with boobs on the brain. I'm sure that no one will even notice!
RedPillSucks 33
Sigh... Horny and Hungry at the same time. What do I do???
RedPillSucks 33
Were these DD cup cakes?
rokolodo 10
Never heard of creepy breasts. Unless they're old granny creepy breasts. Then yeah I can see that.
RedPillSucks 33
Girl scout cookies.... made with real girl scouts.
Ins0mau 20
Calm down, they're Sugar ****! - Mel Gibson