Today, I baked strawberry muffins for my family, putting half a strawberry on each of them. Only when it was too late did I realize that they looked like extremely creepy breasts. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML
Today, my coworker brought chocolate muffins to work for everyone. This would have been really nice if they hadn't tasted like rotten blueberry muffins spray-painted brown. I reflexively gagged after taking a bite and coughed up a brown mush in front of her. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's parents' anniversary so I thought I'd do something to impress them. I made them chocolate-covered strawberries. But for some reason they gave me really dirty looks when they saw it. Turns out his mother is allergic to strawberries and his father is allergic to chocolate. FML
Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML
Today, I woke up hungover and went to the kitchen for some food. I saw what I thought was a blueberry muffin. Halfway through eating it, I realized I couldn’t taste any blueberries, so I tried another one. I then remembered my dad telling me to throw out any old food we had. It was mould. FML
Today, I realized that every day without fail, the muffins I've been making and giving to my husband for work have been hitting speeding cars' windshields. FML
Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML
Today, I tried to bake a cake for my friend's birthday. It turned out looking more like a science experiment gone wrong than a cake. FML
Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML
Today, I was eating a brownie my grandmother had made, only to discover an inch long piece of what resembled dead skin in the middle of it. This discovery was only made after taking a bite and wondering why the consistency was wrong. FML
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Top comments
angelitared 27
Cover them with a strawberry frosting! No one will even notice!!!
kotana191 8
Who cares? Whoever makes fun of them doesn't get a muffin.
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Comments (71)
saIty 17
Then we got that one family member who excuses himself to the bathroom with the cupcake.
saIty 17
MUFFINS! Not CUPCAKES!
BlissfulLiss 18
Maybe that was just your perception and your family won't notice. Even if they do, the taste is all that really matters. I'm sure it'd deter them of any complaints they'd have about presentation.
mrtonyanderson 20
You're supposed to eat them not suck on them!
Aero_x 21
Add whip cream and sprinkles ;)
worldclassrager 41
Frost them also...then they are cupcakes...only the ones on here will know the difference...
crisanba 18
How do half strawberries look like breasts? Oh wait ya had sticken up didn't you. You sick bastard.
graceinsheepwear 34
I thought she made breasts look like cupcakes.
AtomicDiamond87 15
Wats on YOUR mind? haha
skyeyez9 25
Cover them with pasties.
graceinsheepwear 34
Or pastries. Sort of double-decker delectables.
ShakeDisPlace 10
More muffins for you OP!