Today, I asked my boss for my first raise in almost two years, to which he replied, "In the real world, I think you've definitely earned one, but this isn't the real world." FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He responded with, "Who the hell are you?" FML
Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML
Today, I summoned the courage to go into my boss’s office and ask for a raise. He yelled at me, called me “ungrateful”, asked how dare I ask him such a question, and that I’m lucky to even have a job in the first place. I ended up reduced to tears. FML
Today, I met with my boss hoping to hear about a possible raise that had been promised many months ago. He then told me that the only way I would get a raise was if I found a better paying job and took it, and that the company was in no position to offer anyone a raise. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his goddamn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML
Today, I was promoted. After going to school for 10 months to get certified for the new position, training extensively, and taking on a ton more responsibility, I was hoping for a decent raise. How much do my bosses think all of that time and effort is worth? One dollar more per hour than I made before. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise, but he told me my position is a legal requirement that produces no profit, unlike every other employee, ergo if I’m feeling ungrateful about my generous wage, he will happily fire me and hire someone else at minimum wage, saving the company money. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML
Today, I inquired about getting a raise from a company that I've been with for 5 years. My manager said I'll get one starting February 29th. FML
Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML
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Top comments
SaintJimmy 0
So, do you work in a reality parallel to ours or is your boss a couple apples short of a fruit cake?
Ipreferbroccoli 0
Wtf? In the real world, it would be inappropriate to secretly drug your boss, dress him in a banana costume and shove a pole up his ass, saying "Hello Mr. Bananaman on a steek!", but this isn't the real world. Wild you go.
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Comments (63)
rockstarK9 0
Wow, wtf is that supposed to mean??? FYL.
royboh 0
"Welcome to America!"
FoundManyLemons 0
One year ago was time to look for a new job, so get to it!
theblazian 0
This ain't seaworld.... this as real as it gets. Your CEOs are on boats mother ****** and don't you ever forget.
nm22395 0
Your boss doesn't have a very good grip on reality.
fatherpunk 1
And what the hell does he mean by " In the real world" and " This isn't the real world." Can someone explain? I'm slow.
Luckster 0
I think your boss plays too much World of Warcraft if he doesn't think this is the real world.
perdix 31
SOMAgirl, if I were you, I'd angle for some kind of benefits that are not direct compensation. You might want to get an upgrade to your title (and if it applies, your pay grade or level) so when your company is doing well, you will get a nice raise. You might get some more vacation time. If you work for a publically-traded company, look at their SEC financials and see how sorry you need to feel for your company. A lot of bosses plead poverty because they look good for keeping payroll and headcount down, even when the company is doing quite well. You have to balance your gratitude for having a job with your need not to be exploited. Have the self-esteem to know that you are indeed valuable to your company and being underpaid chronically is humiliating.
Endo22 0
Id be like, well then Im done workin with your crack fienden ass and Id bail
sara_no_H 0
not the real world? what does he think it is, candy land?!
Ninjaface 0
What do you expect? In these tough economic times, people can't afford frivolous luxuries like reality. You'll just have to settle for the generic like everyone else.