Today, I asked my boss for my first raise in almost two years, to which he replied, "In the real world, I think you've definitely earned one, but this isn't the real world." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
OK thx goodbye
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He responded with, "Who the hell are you?" FML
Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML
Healthy work environment
Today, I summoned the courage to go into my boss’s office and ask for a raise. He yelled at me, called me “ungrateful”, asked how dare I ask him such a question, and that I’m lucky to even have a job in the first place. I ended up reduced to tears. FML
Today, I met with my boss hoping to hear about a possible raise that had been promised many months ago. He then told me that the only way I would get a raise was if I found a better paying job and took it, and that the company was in no position to offer anyone a raise. FML
Know your place
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his goddamn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML
Promotion, huh?
Today, I was promoted. After going to school for 10 months to get certified for the new position, training extensively, and taking on a ton more responsibility, I was hoping for a decent raise. How much do my bosses think all of that time and effort is worth? One dollar more per hour than I made before. FML
Placeholder
Today, I asked my boss for a raise, but he told me my position is a legal requirement that produces no profit, unlike every other employee, ergo if I’m feeling ungrateful about my generous wage, he will happily fire me and hire someone else at minimum wage, saving the company money. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML
If only it was a leap year
Today, I inquired about getting a raise from a company that I've been with for 5 years. My manager said I'll get one starting February 29th. FML
Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML
Top comments
SaintJimmy 0
So, do you work in a reality parallel to ours or is your boss a couple apples short of a fruit cake?
Ipreferbroccoli 0
Wtf? In the real world, it would be inappropriate to secretly drug your boss, dress him in a banana costume and shove a pole up his ass, saying "Hello Mr. Bananaman on a steek!", but this isn't the real world. Wild you go.
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Comments (63)
newburton13 26
Well I wonder what kind of world your boss lives in then.
KevinFlynn 13
does he live in his own fantasy world?
DerpCarlos 8
I think you work in the Matrix
Wildghost123 13
He thinks he is in a video game...
WadeNickerson 16
OP obviously lives in the Matrix
Steffi3 40
Man, the fun you could have with this! Still, sorry about your raise..
cheetahlover1 2
What an asshole.