That's pretty pathetic.

awe. ill be your friend op :)

This is going to sound extremely harsh and insensitive--and I'll probably get buried and attacked for this--but what the hell, here it goes... The fact that you had to pay someone to be your friend makes you sound like you're probably a huge douchebag. Even jerks have people to share their meanness with. There is a possibility that you're just a really nice, socially awkward person, but it's either that or you're a gargantuan asshole. If it's the former, then making friends can be as simple as "Hi, my name is..." and talking about something you like or have in common. If the latter, then YDI and are probably trying to get sympathy by leaving out information (despite the 300 character limit).

okay

Happy Birthday, OP! ^_^ I'm sure if you'll give it some time you'll make lots of friends. If not, there's always cats.

I know how ye feel.

I've never heard of someone who's too shy to make friends but confident enough to explain their situation to a stranger and offer to pay them to spend some time together.

Trying to look less pathetic by lying is like trying to look less of an idiot by lying - odds are, you're going to come across as even more pathetic / stupid when you inevitably get found out. I know it's hard to make friends, especially if you're used to being the wallflower, but you need to let people know that you want to connect, rather than someone who wants to stay aloof. I didn't have many friends when I was in school, and I only found out near to the end of my final year that it was because my shyness seemed like arrogance to them - surprise surprise, they couldn't read my mind or look into a crystal ball to find out how lonely I felt at times. The only way you're going to get to know anyone is by making the effort to talk to them, and honestly? People aren't that scary. They've got problems and concerns just like you do, and even if they reject you, it isn't the end of the world (even though you might feel pretty low) because let's face it - someone who rejects an honest overture of friendship is likely someone you wouldn't want to be friends with you anyway. If you don't feel comfortable striking up a conversation, just say "good morning" or "good afternoon" to the class or to the people you sit next to. Smile more. Look people in the eye (but not in a creepy intense way!). Weirdly, wearing brighter colours if you can or just sitting up straight instead of hunching over works too. It's all about making your body language say "hi! I'm open to friendship and conversation" as opposed to yelling "get away! get away!", especially if you find it difficult to talk to people. Of course, if you're a douchebag - what do you expect? Sorry this is so long. Happy Birthday!

You should've just told your parents that none of your friends were available to come. That way you could save the embarrassment of having to ask and pay someone to be your friend, and the awkwardness of having the person not remember your name. YDI, all your fault.

I feel sorry for you for not having friends, but YDI. You could have just been honest, instead of making a complete fool out of yourself.

Happy Birthday OP! Well, um, I hope you enjoy the rest of your day.

Lose. Sad OP. no social skills? :(