Today, at my strictly Catholic grandmother's funeral, I was made to sit in the row behind the rest of the family, because I was born out of wedlock and wasn't a 'real' member. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my grandmother informed me that I was rude to her at my wedding two months ago, all because she couldn’t sit at the bridal table, even though she "paid for the wedding." FML
Today, I was mistaken for an employee at my grandmother's funeral. There were only twelve of us there, all family. FML
Today, I was uninvited to a family reunion because I’m the result of my mom’s affair while she was married to her husband, who raised me as a dad for 22 years before we found out. According to my aunts, uncles, and cousins who I grew up with, it means I’m not really family anymore. FML
Today, I was at the reading of my grandma's will. Apparently I was removed from it some time ago, and the £2,500 I would have gotten went to my cheating bitch of an ex-fiancée. It seems my grandma adored her, and never forgave me for "driving her away" from the family. FML
Today, my grandmother tried to upstage me at my wedding by wearing an actual wedding dress because she "never had a real wedding". FML
Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML
Today, I found out that I'm not welcome at my boyfriend's dad funeral, because his ex-wife has invited herself, and it would be too awkward to explain to his extended family, most of whom apparently don't yet know that he's divorced. FML
Today, my mother still refuses to acknowledge my son as her grandson, all because I had a C-section, which she says is unnatural and against God's will. I only had the C-section in the first place for health reasons. FML
Today, my religious parents were hosting a family dinner. Not only did we have to wait over an hour for my grandma to finally show up, but when she did, she had her 30 year old boytoy in tow. Apparently, "Granny has needs too you know, hahaha!" Goodbye peaceful family. FML
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Top comments
crashsapphire93 4
Wow, I’d like to see her explain that at the pearly white gates.
kingtz 6
What a ****** up family. Remember this day and how they ostracized you should you ever win the lottery and they come begging for money.
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Comments (57)
Perksofbeingawal 0
I freaking hate the word "whilst". It's so ANNOYING... :(
explodingmuffint 0
why? so you can hop on the bandwagon and pretend you're popular on FML? fyl sir, fyl
Flounder 2
My grandmother refuses to meet me for the same reason OP. Joke's on her though, I'm the most successful one in the family and she's still working in a factory or some shit to support herself.
deeters 0
lol women working in a factory
Flounder 2
Spoken like a poorly educated human being.
scdragon 0
this is why I hate the catholic church, they have rules for every damn thing, I would have sat wherever I wanted and broken Anyones arm who laid a hand on me.
anonymous496 0
imagine that. rules to protect you, just like your parents did (if they loved you. if they didn't, no rules). btw you ass, the catholic church doesn't say to do that. op grandma is just doing that cuz she doesn't like bastards
DrCammaCazzi 0
How can OP's grandma do that if she's, oh I dunno, dead?
Zebidee 9
What a charming little religion.
sparta98 4
This is exactly why I'm not religious. Agnostics won't pull this sort of shit on people.
seventothanine 5
"Agnostics won't pull this sort of shit on people." ~sparta98 Yes, just how Benito Mussolini eluded condemnation of children born prior to marriage because he was irreligious. Actually, he just decided to pull different "shit". This agnostic jerk deceived the Italian nation by elaborately pretending he was Catholic, just to win cooperation with fascism. The guy reconciled with the Pope and gave 3 of his children communion after publicly making blasphemous statements about Jesus being insane and comparing mass to hell. Mussolini even used Friedrich Nietzsche's literature to justify his crusade against Christian principles...while promoting them as part of Italian politics. That being said, agnostics can do some pretty ****** up crap, too. It's about the individual, not their beliefs or lack thereof. SHUTDOWN.
Lochcelious 0
If you have to say something dumb in capital letters at the end of your rant, it doesn't mean you win something.
Zombies_eat_Nath 0
49... win
seventothanine 5
#80: Pardon, I was just adding simple humor to a somewhat serious post. This website is, after all, geared at being funny. I did not HAVE to say "something dumb" to WIN anything. Not my goal here, duncecap. And the capitalization is for emphasis. P.S. I do not affiliate with any specific religion yet I will defend believers against ignorance, so if your comment was retaliation for me offending you....whatchu want? A cookie?!
joa76 3
The weird thing is, you did nothing, it was your parents who broke "the rules." Go figure it's you who has to pay for it. Yup, makes perfect sense to me. /sarcasm
mshenrick 0
very well said
Major_General 10
Things are about to get very bad, very quickly.
stephyhull 4
#34, you have just re-enforced the stereotype of religious people. you hate listening to peoples opinions if they don't agree with your own, but have NO problem with enforcing yours on everyone else :) I agree, religion should be eradicated, it causes so many problems.
iwadasn 33
34 didn't "force her opinion on everyone else." She didn't insist that the Bible was historical fact; she merely pointed out that many people feel that way, and 9 should be more respectful of other people's views. It seems that you're the only intolerant one here.
iwadasn 33
FYL. You couldn't help how you were born. Your parents were the ones who actually did something wrong; why aren't they the ones being punished?
underpaid011 0
what a bunch of assholes. you should tell them THEY are the real non-Catholics, as THEY had unholy sex that angers God out of wedlock. you are just the innocent baby created by the act, and therefore you are blameless. see how they like that :)