Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML
Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML
Today, my mom lost her shit because I was teaching my daughter about tampons. Apparently, they were created by radical feminists to trick women into “stealing” their own virginities, in order to make them unsuitable brides for decent men. I can’t believe I came out of this repressed psycho. FML
Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML
Today, I had to teach my mother that tampons do not belong in the toilet. FML
Today, I found out from a cousin why my older aunts treated me so differently when we were growing up. Apparently, my mom told them that when I was 14, I wanted to use tampons instead of pads. According to their backward, archaic logic, that meant I was sexually active. No wonder they hated me. FML
Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML
Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML
Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML
Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML
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Top comments
CheeseTron 15
Well just don't eat one and put it on Youtube.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
And the funny thing is, she has a boyfriend, while a billion of us perfectly normal girls don't. Let that sink in for a little bit
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Comments (104)
lowshadows 21
typical grandmothers lol.
misslysiak 23
My mum says that as well. She won't let me use a tampon because if I do it will be the same as having sex. I have spent years trying to explain to her that it isn't.
softlikesunset 15
Even if it did break the hymen, you'd still be a virgin. You didn't have sex with your tampon.
Bludmagnus 13
Wow... some people are just stupid.
kiaroxilles 8
Honestly OP (and for everyone thinking it's true) it's not true that it can break your hymen, it's not long enough. I used tampons long before I lost my virginity, personally I prefer them because they make less of a mess and they're much more comfortable. It didn't break my hymen, trust me...when I did end up finally having sex I felt it. So no, it's not true LOL.
laurellkawes 31
You're grandma's right! Tampons can weaken your hymen and cause it to fall out. The same is true with certain sports, like I think horseback riding but I don't remember.
laurellkawes 31
You're grandma's right! Tampons can weaken your hymen and cause it to fall out. The same is true with certain sports, like I think horseback riding and bike riding if you do it a lot. When I was 18, my hymen fell out and it hurt so much, a doctor had to tell me what happened.