Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML
Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML
Today, my mom lost her shit because I was teaching my daughter about tampons. Apparently, they were created by radical feminists to trick women into “stealing” their own virginities, in order to make them unsuitable brides for decent men. I can’t believe I came out of this repressed psycho. FML
Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML
Today, I had to teach my mother that tampons do not belong in the toilet. FML
Today, I found out from a cousin why my older aunts treated me so differently when we were growing up. Apparently, my mom told them that when I was 14, I wanted to use tampons instead of pads. According to their backward, archaic logic, that meant I was sexually active. No wonder they hated me. FML
Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML
Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML
Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML
Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML
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Top comments
CheeseTron 15
Well just don't eat one and put it on Youtube.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
And the funny thing is, she has a boyfriend, while a billion of us perfectly normal girls don't. Let that sink in for a little bit
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Comments (104)
slingo234 12
Hey O.P. were u in the kotex commercial? "its 2013 why do these myths still exist"
LarryLaDouche 13
Someone call the police! This tampon stole my virginity!
karlcolt45 19
well that escalated quickly
heavenleigh85 5
Tampons are pretty awful they swell and are sometimes hard to remove I'm 27 and I can't deal with them. Let's not even start with toxic shock syndrome those things terrify me hah
CharresBarkrey 16
Sounds like you just never got used to them. As long as you change them every few hours you don't have to worry about TSS. Honesty, if they're used correctly, you literally can't feel them.
Needafarm 22
You should use the good tampons. Honestly I have used some cheap ones when i really didn't have a choice and yes, the strings break and they do swell a little awkwardly, but they aren't that bad.
Melodija 19
My grandmother did the same thing :L
Needafarm 22
If your grandmother thinks that tampons steal your virginity then she needs a lesson as to how the hymen is broken. It is not via a tampon. I have been using tampons since 1990 and have never had an issue. If you plan to try them again try using the smallest one "light" and working up from there and knowing when to change them so you don't pull out a dry one. I could never stand having blood on my ass and through out my who region there. Hymens can be torn by certain activities other than sex for the first time. Gradual tearing is often never noticed and can make your first time more pleasurable for the both of you. The Hymen breaking is an awful pain from what I have been told.
paintedchocolate 30
And here I was wondering where mine had gone...
10showgirl 16
You should have said, "Too late!"
interesting33 37
They don't steal it - virginity is NOT the hymen breaking. The hymen breaking can show virginity is being lost but it doesn't necessarily mean it has been - tampons don't usually break it anyway - the hymen can break or tear due to many things - even riding a bike on some occasions!! Losing your virginity for a woman is when a penis is put inside her ****** I think - not tampons.
DanielleinDC 34
I thought that myth died in the 1970s. Where has your grandma been?