Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I was at my Muay Thai class. We were doing a combination which consisted of a low kick, body kick and head kick. My partner had already done the low kick so I held the pads for the body kick. He kicked me straight in the jaw. I'm a teenage girl and he's a fully grown man. FML
Today, I learned that being kicked in the vagina by your brat brother not only makes you vomit from the pain, it also makes you get a period an hour later so unbelievably more painful than usual, you're forced to use the real good painkillers left over from your dad's spine surgery. FML
Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. Five seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the Hacky Sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML
Today, at sparring, I got paired up with a girl, who said, "Don't go easy on me because I'm a girl!" Thirty seconds into the match, she was on the floor whimpering and crying. Now everyone is whispering and glaring at me. FML
Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
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Top comments
Hamlin 5
Surprise kick him in the balls back
lachy15 15
He is an idiot. The fact that he thinks it's the penis that is the sensitive part backs that up. It's the testicles that are sensitive, and apparently the ****** is fairly similar.
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Comments (155)
Bakarra 22
I believe the term you're looking for is "**** punt"
BirdieBee 9
I thought it was "pussy punched"
Imhere4fml 24
He kicked her, not punched her 82
linneam 5
I feel you!! It hurts like hell!!
kumonsucks 7
Dat username
BauerMegan 31
May you never find pleasure in...in what!?
Wizardo 34
In a ******, your welcome.
nephilim241 19
C**t punt!
Jharrist89 12
Ohh... **** punts!
xXNerrrdXx 16
awesome name OP, hope so too hahahaha and follow whi say Syrprise kick him in the balls !!!
illegalbeagle69 23
Such a dick move.
Jemm_fml 29
******* move. *wiggles*
DirkTheDiggler 13
That's when you wipe the years and snot away, get up, dust yourself off and...... "Sweep the leg!" #TeamCobraKai
FrankHotpants 31
I believe it was Betty white who said "don't grow some balls grow a ******, those things can take a beating"
DDCA 24
Holy shit, get out of my head. It was indeed Betty White who said that. But she actually said, “Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a ******. Those things can take a pounding”.
Pwuj 6
Apparently they can't take one kick,. Betty white is such a Liar.,,