Geek: Today, at 2 am on a Saturday, I purposely updated my Facebook...

By tbeemcgeebee - 01/08/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, at 2 am on a Saturday, I purposely updated my Facebook status from my iPod so people will see that I posted from a 'mobile device' and think I'm out at a bar having a life, instead of sitting at home on my bed watching movies on my Netflix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 924

You deserved it 33 653

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Same thing different taste

By NoLife - 15/05/2011 18:49 - United States

Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 077

You deserved it 34 720

By Anonymous - 30/06/2014 01:25 - United States - Butler

Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 009

You deserved it 12 014

Nice try

By No.Life. - 14/07/2010 04:09 - United States

Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 536

You deserved it 32 565

By lonely - 01/01/2011 17:11 - United States

Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 045

You deserved it 34 514

By moonlight77 - 11/01/2019 14:00

Today, I deliberately snapped a pic of myself and edited it to add to my story, in order to make my ex think I have a life on a Saturday night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 200

You deserved it 2 194

Clout chasing

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes, or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 586

You deserved it 47 179

Party hard!

By _Emilyy - 12/07/2011 04:40 - United States

Today, I updated my Facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 527

You deserved it 10 525

By nolife - 30/08/2012 01:33 - United States - Richmond

Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 205

You deserved it 30 057

By Baileyy - 01/03/2011 23:18 - United States

Today, while pensively thinking up my next awesome Facebook status over dinner, I finally came to the conclusion that I need to get a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 177

You deserved it 41 245

By Needsanewjob - 10/01/2012 15:34 - United States

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 506

You deserved it 55 411

calichic101 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 16:17

i dont rlly think tht is a fml it just means u have no life

mcleantrain 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 16:17

u will have friends some day don't worry!

Comments

emilyanne74 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 6:21

laaaameeee

Sunny_Eclipse 6

Monday 20 June 2011 12:59

Niiiiiiiiiice.

MeleMallory 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 10:08

Why does going to a bar mean you have a life?

koolkat27 13

Saturday 31 December 2011 10:36

damn... these are what my Saturday nights sound like...

nela25 23

Tuesday 3 January 2012 12:37

Does this mean you are posting this fml from your Ipod as well?

superbubbles 4

Saturday 10 March 2012 6:10

No way that's what I do!

kei1108 13

Monday 26 March 2012 18:11

What's wrong with watching Netflix?! ;) have some confidence, OP. Some people are just home-bodies. Doesn't mean you don't have a life.

Emi_Evermore 7

Tuesday 7 August 2012 16:25

Lol......Netflix and i are best friends........FML

1nomor 8

Thursday 16 August 2012 20:05

I do that...

infectedsense 15

Monday 20 August 2012 5:10

Maybe if instead of trying to convince those people you're popular, you could call them up and see if they want to hang out?

Keywords

Annoying Gamers Video games Kids Cute Birthday Money Weird Awkward Love Health Abuse Relatable Social Media Scams Education Parents School Anger issues Teenagers Family Relationship advice Capitalism Miscellaneous Public freakouts Grieving Mental health Geek Music Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, I asked a girl at work out, who'd claimed she was single. Not ten minutes later, our boss fired me. Turns out that girl is actually his side chick he cheats on his wife with, even though she’s 19 and he’s 48. Not illegal, just scummy as hell, and he fired me out of jealousy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 100

Today, so… you know how sometimes girls give the weird guys a chance and it works out beautifully and they marry, have kids, and live happily ever after. Yeah, didn’t work for me. I gave the weird guy from work a chance and he asked if he could lick my armpits on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 119

The Top

Today, someone called wanting to talk to my son. My 6-week-old baby is receiving more phone calls than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 704

You deserved it 467

Today, my car was broken into, and they stole all my CDs, but left my daughter's Black Eyed Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissed about the theft, but almost glad to see that the delinquents in my town have a decent taste in music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 698

You deserved it 4 438

Today, as a volunteer tutor, I met up with a girl who needed help with calculus. When I introduced myself, she wrinkled up her face and said, "I'd hoped you'd be hotter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 791

You deserved it 2 782

Today, my best friend slapped me and called me a some colorful words before telling me that she never wanted to talk to me again because I supposedly slept with her boyfriend. Not only am I a virgin, but I'm a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200 890

You deserved it 16 683

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 613

You deserved it 56 911

Today, I was enjoying the benefits of marriage with my new husband. We were changing positions when my joints started crackling and popping like my mother's did when I was a kid. My husband stopped, concerned about my possible pain... I'm 20 years old and pop like an arthritic 50 year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 602

You deserved it 3 888

Same thing different taste

Nice try

Clout chasing

Party hard!

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