Today, at 2 am on a Saturday, I purposely updated my Facebook status from my iPod so people will see that I posted from a 'mobile device' and think I'm out at a bar having a life, instead of sitting at home on my bed watching movies on my Netflix. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML
Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML
Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML
Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML
Today, I deliberately snapped a pic of myself and edited it to add to my story, in order to make my ex think I have a life on a Saturday night. FML
Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes, or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML
Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML
Today, while pensively thinking up my next awesome Facebook status over dinner, I finally came to the conclusion that I need to get a life. FML
Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML
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Top comments
calichic101 0
i dont rlly think tht is a fml it just means u have no life
mcleantrain 0
u will have friends some day don't worry!
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Comments (83)
emilyanne74 0
laaaameeee
Sunny_Eclipse 6
Niiiiiiiiiice.
MeleMallory 0
Why does going to a bar mean you have a life?
koolkat27 13
damn... these are what my Saturday nights sound like...
nela25 23
Does this mean you are posting this fml from your Ipod as well?
superbubbles 4
No way that's what I do!
kei1108 13
What's wrong with watching Netflix?! ;) have some confidence, OP. Some people are just home-bodies. Doesn't mean you don't have a life.
Emi_Evermore 7
Lol......Netflix and i are best friends........FML
1nomor 8
I do that...
infectedsense 15
Maybe if instead of trying to convince those people you're popular, you could call them up and see if they want to hang out?