Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I heard a loud crashing noise. I ran into the kitchen to see what it was. My cat had knocked over my fish bowl and had my Beta in her mouth. After scolding her and rescuing it, I decided to clean its bowl. When I went to dump some of the water in the sink, my fish went down the drain. FML
Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML
Today, I was draining the water from my fishbowl out into the kitchen sink. The fish was still in it and decided to go with the flow, literally, right into the garburator. I was too scared to stick my hand down there to save it; instead I panicked and turned the garburator on. FML
Today, I asked my husband to watch our daughter while I ran a few errands. While he treated himself to a long nap, she decided our fish needed a bubble bath, and squeezed out an entire bottle of dish soap. I came home to bubbles all over the floor, five dead fish, and one sleeping husband. FML
Today, my little sister put me in charge of keeping her fighting fish alive. It would've been an easy task if it weren't for my crazy ex-boyfriend drunkenly forcing his way into my house, vomiting into the fishbowl and killing the fish. Only ten more hours until my family gets home. FML
Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML
Today, I found my brand new tropical fish dead in its tank because my boyfriend got drunk last night and decided to pour red wine into the aquarium. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Today, I came home to a dead fish duct-taped to the wall of my dorm room. I can't reach it. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
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Top comments
JTthePurpleNinja 5
F the fishes life ! Ouch
dontfmlplzzz 6
Your reaction was to shred the fish? Angry much?
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Comments (229)
cheetahbaby96 8
How does your first become oh! Let's flip the switch! ?
SignUpisntcool 3
She needs to be glad she didn't think right after that, "oh I have to get the fish" and stick her hand down there.
Epichearts 2
Tbh if I were him i'e dump u...lol
porkchops878 11
If your fish only has a bowl, then your probably not the most advanced fish owner. Most fish, especially goldfish need a filtered tank because goldfish are extremely dirty fish. The best fish I can think of to put in a bowl is a betta fish because they breathe at the surface of the water, meaning that they don't need air in their water. And if I were your boyfriend, I wouldn't bd talking to you either.
SailorMoon921 7
Is it sad that your comment made my laugh and help me smile since yesterday my boss accidentally dropped hot oil on my arm.
toychests 0
Your boyfriend has a fish!!! Lmfao!!!!!
asherm 15
*had* a fish... Now for tonight's delicacy: sushi, *whipped* up by OP
bspiper87 7
Now how in the hell am I going to explain to my 2 year old that there will not be a Finding Nemo 2?
deliriousbasil 0
Sequels suck. Especially when Disney and Pixar is the subject.
linkinpark98 24
The Lion King sequel was pretty good. :P
yusaku02 20
Your impulse... was the flip the switch... HOW???
Emerald_86 0
There's more fish in the sea/petstore...
EnterSandman_fml 20
Grinding Nemo.
deliriousbasil 0
Reminds me of Deuce Bigalow, no kidding! But there weren't any fish harmed during the movie... Maybe you guys should have some fine sushi for dinner?